So I know I have some of the most stressful months of my life coming up. July is filled to the brim with my two jobs and studying for COMPS. August IS COMPS and the last-half will be traveling and relaxing before I find out if I passed COMPS. October will be filled with applying to internships... cover letters, essays, and everything. Then November will be filled with (hopefully) interviews and buying tickets for future interviews. December, the interviews will continue... and well into January. February is when I find out about internship. March COULD be when I found out about round 2 of itnernship (if I don't match), April is my last month of classes and when my data and entire dissertation is due. June we move! July we marry!
Basically these next 12 months are going to spin my head loose. I've been struggling with my diet and exercise plan. I always log but I don't always weigh myself because I just got off birth control and my body has been doing some pretty funky stuff. I went from 164 lbs to 145 lbs in just under 4 days last week.
Ayways I bought my honeymoon shower dress to re-motivate myself. I finished out engagement photos and it was a real test to my body image. I clearly had cellulite showing on my legs and calves in most of the photos, but I kinda liked it. Is that weird? It wasn't awful but it was there. Back in the day I would've blured this out to the best of my ability or cropped it out, but I embraced it because I know i've worked hard for the body I have (well, maybe not recently) and I deserve to be happy with it. Also, I imagine myself flipping through these photos when im old and grey and smiling- thinking "damn, i wish i knew what i had then so i could just be happy with myself" so I really am happy with the body I have.
It could be better, like most things. But that's besides the point. Also, I've been keeping track of my measurements and I'm happy with what I have. I am hoping that I hit my DB goal 145 lbs by the end of August so that I can try on my wedding gown early september and see if 145 is the sweet spot. I want to make sure I can fit in my dress without spanx and look/feel good.
Anyways the dress i ordered has the following measurements (and will be delivered by mid-august)
Bust//waist//hip//length
38" // 29-32" // Max 44" // 36" (Approx US 8-10)
My (naked) measurements from last week were:
37.5"//29.5"//39.25" so I should fit snuggly into this dress. I want it to look a little loose, too. We'll see. I created a "fuel your body and happiness" jar where I put in $1 for every five minutes I am strength training. I told myself I have to "earn" my dress (which cost $80) so that's 6.5 hours of strength training to fit between now and mid-august. hopefully I hit my goal. I really just need to stick to eating eggs, tuna, and chicken every day. It's just hard to keep up with the grocery bills but I think I can make it work! Wish me luck these next 2 months! Or 12 :P