I think the biggest battle I have is time. Time to think I can eat this, eat that and still think I have time to lose the calories later. I am addicted to food. At work I work with addicts addicted to drugs, I can relate in my codependency with food. I have realized that I have allowed food to become as bad for me as cocaine is for an addict. I will spend money eating out not having any. Credit cards are mostly dining out charges. I have seemed not to care about my pysical appearance or health. I have a problom that has gotten out of control.
Many years ago I was skinnier but very depressed. I found myself alone without my family and with my three kids and many skeletons in my closet that I could not forget. Hurtfull events that looking back now have made me stronger but fatter becasue I chose food as my antidepressant. I am over 250lb. I do not recognize myself in pictures. I fear going back home to see my friends and family because they saw me leave at 180lb...and they thought I was fat then...
Time has catched up to me. I no longer fit in my clothes, I no longer want to take pictures, I no longer want to go home. I am at fault. Until today, I plan to take action. Find a healthy choice that will help me. I deserve to go home. My family deserves to see my many acomplishments I have achived all alone with my three kids. I deserve to be healthy. To take back time and all the things I love to do.