Ugh... so I finished all my applications and got that headache out of the way but at 4am I woke up with the worst pain of my adult life- after 4 days of waiting for my period I finally got it- and it came with a vengeance.

I couldn't keep alleve or midol down, and kept throwing up in my bathroom. Around 5am Chris came in with water (which made me throw up again) and a heated blanket. I've never had such god awful cramps in the front and in my lower back. It felt like someone was sitting on my back and sitting on my uterus- I found it hard to breathe. The pain and nausea came in waves- very severe waves- and I was crying in pain until the sun came up. I finally swalled 5 ibuprofen around 6am and passed out before I could throw it up.

The last thing I feel like doing is sitting here working on my dissertation all day then going out in DC for a birthday. I'm worried my body is either becoming resistant to my birth control, or if I'm becoming like my mother and have a cyst, or if I am actually dealing with a 4.5 week miscarriage. When I googled all of my symptoms the signs pointed to a miscarriage and ppl on forums advised I get "checked out" by a doctor- for a D&C but I called three gyno in VA and none are taking new clients, and I got disappointed and stopped trying. I haven't taken a pregnancy test since Sunday (which was negative but it wouldn't have shown a positive until ~Tuesday). I'm too scared to check again because what I don't know won't hurt me. Although this could explain my 5lb almost overnight weight gain. My fiance was annoyed that I was convinced I was having a miscarriage so I had to tell him some of the gross details of my night and then his face turned white- he wants me to get on a new pill but I am going to try taking my pill at the same time every day for a month for one cycle before I change prescriptions again. I had horrrrible periods when I was young and was put on birth control at 14 years old- I didn't have sex until I was 19, so no it wasn't for anything BUT medical reasons. At 14 I was heavily bleeding, fainting, throwing up, and had horrible cramps. I was light headed all day yesterday and almost fainted when I stood up from my desk but I blamed it on staring at a computer screen for 14 hours straight. 

Well, by the time I was 17 my symptoms came back and I got a higher dosage. Then, again at 20 years old I changed pills bc I was throwing up again. Then at 23 I changed pills again for my PMDD diagnosis. It's only been two years but maybe two years is long enough for my body to need something else. 

Ugh I feel so emotional and gross and sloth-like :(