I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I'm not sure if it's my age (44) or what, but I've come to realize where I'm at in life and how discontent I am with what I'm seeing. I can't change the past, but I can start now to change the way my story ends. I cannot dwell on past mistakes or choices I've made, but I *can* learn from them and make better decisions now and in the future. Live and learn. :-)
My weight loss story has a typical history - overweight as a child, overweight as a teen, now overweight as an adult. Overweight, ha! I passed that term a LONG time ago and have lived in *OBESE* territory for decades. Each year I would pack on more weight, and in my earlier adult years it was to the tune of about 10 lbs per year, sometimes more if I had been pregnant that year. All to end up about ten years ago at about 210 lbs overweight. Not *weighing* 210 lbs, but needing to *lose* 210 lbs. That's more than a full grown adult!
I was blessed with fairly good health, so I didn't take the extra weight as serious as I should have. However, as most things do, it caught up with me. Now, not only do I have all this weight to lose, but about ten years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. At the same time, the doctor I was seeing for the diabetes also suggested that I might have some food allergies/sensitivies, specifically to gluten and casein. Oh, and she wanted me to kick my Diet Dr Pepper habit as well. The horrors! *sigh*
This all happened when I was at my heaviest, about 60 lbs heavier than I am right now. I was a good girl and watched what I ate and took my meds (still didn't exercise), at least for awhile. And surprise! I started *losing* weight for the very first time! I easily dropped 50 lbs in the following couple years, all without changing too much except staying gluten free most of the time and taking metformin for my diabetes. Over time, I quit taking the meds because they made me nauseous and it was easier to just eat whatever I wanted instead of gluten free / casein free. And I still didn't exercise.
Thankfully, I've been able to keep off that original 50 lb loss and have been able to knock off almost another 10 lbs. But I'm so tired of what I'm seeing in the mirror. So tired of being so tired. So tired of being scared of what long term health issues I may have from not only the weight, but not staying gluten free. Scared of the long term health issues from uncontrolled blood sugar levels. So tired of not being able to find decent, *affordable* clothes. So tired of being embarrassed for my husband and kids when we're out in public together. Just. So. Tired.
I'm so glad my story hasn't ended.
I'm ready to write a new end. I can't change how my story began, but I can change the direction of where I'm headed. The time is now. It is time to take control, to own up to what I'm doing to myself, and start making lifelong changes. I'm ready. :-)