So I've been keeping up on my self-care.
I attempted to call a friend on my drive home last night but she was in class, that's okay. At least I reached out. I also wanted space from my fiance and as soon as I got home I put in headphones and started cleaning. He interpreted it as, "oh shit she's mad at me" and started cleaning as well but I really just wanted to do anything BUT sit on my ass and watch Netflix. But my environment looks a lot nicer which helps with the depression. After the dining room table was cleaned Chris signed us up for renter's insurance for the new apartment and I filed my taxes- I'm getting $1,300 back- just in time for the new apartment!
I lost another 2 lbs. Yesterday I had a protein shake with milk for breakfast, 2 apples for lunch, a bag of salt & vinegar chips (I had leftover from a subway meal 3 weeks ago), and for dinner I ate baked skinless chicken with tomatoes, white rice (I didn't buy the damn white rice- Chris bought 6 lbs of it!), black beans, and half a piece of naan. Before bed I ate TWO peanut butter m&ms because my fiance gave me one of my "valentines day gifts" early meaning he wanted to eat half the bag last night.
I'm not mad.
I'm caving and going grocery shopping tomorrow. I can't stand how little bit of vegetables I have to choose from. I know I'll eat them all before we move early March. I made plans to go bowling with 6 friends tonight, and plans to go out to lunch with a friend tomorrow. AND plans to "go out" sunday with Chris. I should probably do my homework and look up nutrition facts for some local restuarants so I don't completely sabotage myself before the official weigh in day.
I feel good, I feel productive, I feel connected to others. Self-care is working. Today as I was combing my hair I was lifting my arms over my head and saw my stomach. Usually I roll my eyes at the sight of my abdomen or try to just look away, but today I was like "alright, okay, I can work with this". so I took a picture, because this is a new development.
3 days left until weigh in!
p.s. The Texas campus helped me find a private loan to cover my electives, and I was approved for the loan YESTERDAY!! Woohoo! I'm a little anxious about advanced practicum applications floating out in the universe right now (one is in DC, MD, VA- that's the entire universe- right?). Nine other students told me they applied to NVMHI and they only accept 2 students per year which most likely means they'll only interview half of us, which MOST LIKELY MEANS they won't interview me. Waaah.