October 25, 2017:
I am pulling this all together.
1) I have found resolve. Is it because I want my kids to see a healthy Mom? Is it becasuse i am READY to feel good again? Is it for every possible reason that affects how I do everything every day? I remember being able to see what I was shaving 'down there'. Yes, I did just type that. I am going to stop hiding in family pictures, stop hiding from clothing stores, and I am going to stop hiding from LIFE!
2) I have stopped going for Sate beef noodle soup at work. I have stopped eating gargantueous portions at dinner time. I have stopped making supper carbo-centric. I have started packing a lunch for work. I have starting measuring food. And I have been hungry.... and found that it is doable. Even empowering. Hunger- you aren't that tough. I know how to beat you now. I AM beating you now. And everyday, I am putting new weapons in my war chest, and everyday I am getting stronger. Hunger and emotional eating- you can go EAT THIS!
3) I ordered a new scale. No excuses. I have to look at that number. Yes, I might cry... but I am strong, I am brave, and I will do what needs to be done.
4) I ordered (can you tell I work full time and have kids) a new pair of runners so I can leave them at work and go walk at lunch, or do the stairs in my building if the weather is bad. No excuses.
4) My husband is stepping up and being supportive- Yay! He was even the one who found a meal plan he would follow for when he is cooking a supper or prepping breakfast/lunch. I feel relief. I don't have to fight this alone. Support is awesome!
5) DietBet.com - fun! Challenging. An engagement tool. An accountability tool. And I hope I take advantage of the support through the blog and community... I will venture there. Hey- I am writing this blog, aren't I? I'm doing it!
6) I have decided some long-term rewards and goals for weight loss, and now I have some fun homework on deciding rewards on my short term goals. I love the 4% body weight in 1 month goal..... now what is a suitable reward???? This is going to be a fun journey!
7) More homework. I want to change my inner dialogue and mindfulness. I am going to try and talk to myself in a more positive manner. Self loathing is defeating. I am going to have to read how to do this... it feals like it needs to be a fundamental change that i will have to work at. And just how does a person become a more mindful eater? Oh- so much homework. Good thing I liked doing homework back in the day- I am ready! Bring it on!