No, I have never had children. Yes, I have stretch marks. I love wine, chocolate, cheese, bread. I also love kale, blackberries, cherries, oranges (mmmm oranges!), carrots, brussel sprouts (with bacon of course).
I can finish a salad, legs crossed with a napkin draped over my lap. But I prefer to polish a burger and fries faster than all the men at the table.
This is my body.
I LOVE coffee, black mostly. Every once in a while, I’ll treat myself to a tall Flat White from Starbucks. And although a venti double mocha, caramel frappechino (with extra whip) is what I really want, I do enjoy how the cute 8 oz cup fits in my child-sized hand. It makes me feel like all the celebrities you see in paparazzi photos. You know, the ones that show up in Globe and Esquire with headlines like “The truth behind what’s really in her Starbucks cup”
This is my body.
I only have a six pack when I sneeze. My calves are the size of a linebacker’s neck. My forearms are veiny & muscular, but my biceps really only reveal their tone when I’m helping a friend move furniture. My favorite part of my body is my back — I love me a backless top!! I can do about 3 pull ups in a row… Did you know only 80% of women can do a single pull up!?! I love yoga, cycling, and swimming. I DON’T like to run. In fact, if you ever see me running, you should probably be running too!
This is my body.
In the summer I become tan and I glow; I also obtain bad tan lines. In the winter I become pasty and dry; like really pasty and dry!
This is my body.
I’m 31 years old and I still get pimples. It takes all my willpower not to pop them in front of the mirror just like I did back in high school. I still do.
This is my body.
I have two beautiful tattoos. One that is meaningful and discrete; stunning really. The other pretty obvious, unique and artfully carfted, but the attention it draws often makes me feel somewhat self conscious (or confident depending on the day). I want more tattoos… My mom’s name is Joy- I would love her beautiful signature to be a permanent mark I hold forever.
This is my body.
I have scars on my shins, knees, and elbows. I have the classic mark of every little tomboy under my chin- I split it open with my knee when I was 19 (7 stitches). I even have a scar through my right eyebrow from my first attempt at downhill mountain biking (4 stitches). I’m a tomboy thick and thin, but this tomboy knows how to clean up well!
This is my body.
Yesterday, I woke up and found a long (like really long) gray hair — I plucked it. Today I woke up and found a black (like really black) hair on my chin- I also plucked it! I’d love to be one of those stunning women who wake up with a beautiful head of hair, no wrinkles, white teeth, hairless from the neck down. Frankly, I just can’t afford the procedures that make that all possible. And truth is — I’m stunning JUST as I am! No procedures necessary (maybe a few SnapChat filters and LASIK — best decision EVER!!).
This is my body.