I'm new to DietBets, so I'm a little unsure the way the blog posts are supposed to be used...but I'm going with journal-like entry and someone can let me know if I'm wrong :)
One of the features I miss most about Weight Watchers is the accountability/circle of support and commisseration. I was reading up on a diet/way of eating I saw someone mention on here the other day, Bright Line Eating. It's a little too intense for me, no unnatural sugars and no flour, but some of the founder's science really struck a cord with me. Mainly, that every one falls somewhere differently on the susceptibility scale when it comes to their pull towards food as something other than pure sustenance. Upon taking her quiz, I was at an 8, meaning that a large portion of my life focuses on overeating and wanting to lose weight. Whereas people lower on the scale don't have to give themselves boundaries or worry about losing weight because they are naturally eating in moderation, have no emotional attachment to food, don't have a love/hate relationship with foods, and it is not a drug for them. At least, this is my interpretation of what I've read and the vlogs I've listened to over at brightlineeating.com. All of this to say, for those of us who struggle with overeating or constantly desiring to eat all of the unhealthy things, it's difficult for people who do not have these issues to understand, or know how to relate, or support us. My fiance is overweight, but because he only eats once a day and drinks little to no water without me telling him to, but he can say no to food with very little difficulty. It is EASY for him. While he tries to help me eat better, he doesn't understand the failure and guilt I feel when I tell him I ate something I wasn't supposed to, because for him it is just food. (Please don't read this as me ragging on my fiance - he is amazing and does his best to help; I liken it to me trying to understand him losing his father at a young age - that's not my truth so I can never TRULY grasp how it feels or impacts his life).
All of THAT to say - I was doing good today. I ate my planned breakfast, lunch, and snack, but then 4 o'clock rolled around and I felt exhausted and like I needed iron and went in search for some meat or SOMETHING in our work's lunchroom; said, "I'll just eat some of this shredded pork...but it needs something else...this bread...this bread is delicious, I bet it would taste even better with all that spinach dip...LAUREN. What are you doing, leave NOW." So I did. But I got downstairs to my office and thought candy sounded good. I've had these Werther's Soft Caramels at my desk for LITERALLY a year and not gone into the bag other than to fill the candy bowl people stop in for. Not tempting whatsoever. Today, because I'd already given in I figured why not and ate 3 of them. I'm not going to lie and say they weren't the best tasting thing I've had all week, because they really were. But THREE. One would've satisfied the urge, but I couldn't stop there. I just couldn't. And now I'm coming down from the sugar rush, and writing this all out for strangers to read, for no other reason than I know that someone, if not a lot of ones, out there can relate. To remind everyone that you are not the only one who struggles, and gets upset and frustrated with yourself, and sometimes feels downright helpless when it comes to food. I'm not perfect and I will always give in every now and then, but I am the sum of my choices, not the singular occasional mistakes I could try and justify picking myself apart for.
Whew. Thanks for letting me get that out. <3