This is something that I think was my biggest reason for gaining weight. I allowed myself to make so many unconcious choices and then tell myself that it was ok. Like not eating breakfast so it was ok that I overate at lunch, or skipping lunch so that it was ok that I overate at dinner. I didn't conciously decide to do those things but I was allowing my unconcious desire to eat or skip the gym or have more wine rule how I lived. I was allowing my unconcious desires to rule the roost and then giving myself all the excuses in the world to make up for (I was really hungry bc I skipped a meal, I stayed up too late so I couldn't make it to the gym, I was stressed so I deserved that extra glass of wine or giant bowl of ice cream). My biggest change in behavior right now is making concious decisions whether they be bad or good. For example, I went out to big local event last night and I knew I was going to have a few drinks and eat lots of bad food. I conciously decided to just let go and have some fun and not fuss about it too much. And I ate lots of delish food, had a few drinks, danced the night away and truly had fun. But conciously and here is the thing, I know that if I don't want that to derail my week I now have to conciously make better choices all week and I feel happy and excited to do that because I allowed myself to let go. I'm confident that I can do it. In the past I would have felt so guilty and defeated because I would have went into the situation unrealistically thinking "I will only have a grilled chicken salad with water all night" and then obviously that wouldn't have happened (and if it had I would have been sad too). Now I can accept that if I plan for those times when I'm over indulging, I can then plan to get back on the metaphorical wagon with no guilt because I really never got off it. I know this is pretty rambly, but I'm really just understanding how much I "unconciously" did things in order to just do what I wanted. Hopefully by recognizing this harmful way of thinking I can stop doing it.