I noticed I only wrote one other blog during this challenge which is some what disappointing. I love to write so I don't know why I didn't write any more.
I noticed one thing though- starting this challenge off I was super excited and super pumped to begin working out and losing weight- I am still excited to lose weight but I noticed my motivation seemed to have decreased after the first initial 6lbs lost.
Anything new I noticed how excited I am and how eager I get to participate but after I start getting into my own world (school and life) I forget to incoorporate one life change I wanted: BEING HEALTHIER.
I do realize one thing as I am doing this challenge, I watch and take note of everything I am eating. The creamsicles in the freezer, the chips in the cupboard; I do not find them as appealing as I once did- heck even the box of chocolate has only had 1 (one from me) eaten from it compared to being half gone.
I am definitely a procrastinater- The days I want to work out "I will do it tomorrow, or I see I have ___ much time on Tuesday, I'll go before school" I am so wrong!! I did not go to the gym more than 3 times this month. Although I have walked ALOT instead of taking the bus everywhere. I have been playing sports outside during the good weather. So I am slowly changing my habits...
I noticed I was counting my days of "I have 10 days to lose this much weight- I can overindulge today" - HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE. I know, I know I suck at that. I need to pinch myself during those times. It is not even with junk food either; it is the "healthier" fully prepared fresh cooked meals- not processed junk but it still gets me because I overeat. That has been an issue from the beginning- I think "oh one more bite won't hurt" well, I see myself now and it does.
This blog is not to get down on myself or bring anyone else down; I am looking for a positive thing throughout this experience. Although I have a couple more days to reach my goal. I have learned my own downfalls. I have learned my own temptations and thoughts.
I am going to change my thought process- not for a challenge but for myself. I am not going to eat another serving of food thinking I will work it off later or I am "not full yet". This blog is me declaring I am done with my own crap!
I need to change my thoughts, I need to stop waiting until last minute (I do it for school work as well) If I want something done, I will do it right now! (I think I am hyped up a bit because I just did 50 jumping jacks and am going to do more after this post)
No one can change me but me. I want a change, my body and soul have been asking for change and I cannot let my mind get in the way of me anymore.
Whoever is reading this, and can relate to it I am rooting for change. Getting this off my chest is probably the very first step in the right direction.
I hope this post can benefit someone because change is what comes from within us. Like I said in the first blog I wrote (quoting Shaycarl who quoted someone else) "Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change"
It pains me to look down at my stomach, it pains me to look at all the lovely closed and realize I have no chance of feeling good in them; it pains me to think that 50 jumping jacks makes my legs burn. I used to be athletic, I love playing sports. I was always the "bigger girl" during sports but I was always competetive and can definetly keep up with everyone and then some. I may not have been the fastest but I was determined. And I am determined now.
So for those of you who may be struggling to get the last bit of weight off for your goal, keep going; it's not over yet.