Whoah mama, have I got stress. Heck, we ALL have stress. Sometimes it's just a culmination of all the little things in life that just...irk you. Other times, it's one big life event that changes everything. For me, it's a mashup of the two. Where shall I begin... is it life story time?
When I was 13, my parents got divorced. I thought my world was falling apart. My dad moved out and he was the only one who seemed to "get" me. We have a very similar sense of humor, and, well, humor is kinda my thing. My mom, on the other hand... well, let's just say I inherited the funny gene from Papa. So it was just my mom, little sister and me, fending for ourselves.
Let me explain something... three women are NOT meant to live together on their own. Ever. Ever. Ever. Can we say "PMS-Fueled Estrogen Storm of the Century" ? Not right, I tell you. Needless to say, my mom and I did not get along very well during my teen years. I still had a good relationship with my dad, but I was constantly being put in the middle of my parents' divorce, which caused a gigantic amount of stress. In the same year, I had my first of a handful seizures. To put the cherry on top, the meds I was put on had a fun side effect: a giant fist-sized ovarian cyst. Thirteen was not a good year.
With no one but my best friend there to comfort me (and no knocks on her, she's the BEST!), I turned to the one thing I always took comfort it: food. Oh food. Delicious, salt and preservative-packed frozen dinners. Chips. Frozen chicken patties. Cheeseburgers. These were all snacks. I can't remember exactly what my health was like then, but I was an early bloomer and pretty much quit growing into my 5'5" 145lb, size 10 shoe frame by the time I was in 5th grade. So I was used to always being the biggest girl in class. I was never obese, but always thick. It definitely did a number on my self esteem.
A couple years later, things started looking up. I started going to church youth group and accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior. Everything changed after that! I had a new perspective on life and knew that it was time for a change. I made more of an effort to have a positive relationship with my mom, and started to make a push towards getting healthier. It was hard, seeing as how my mom mostly cooked things from cans and boxes, but luckily I also got the cooking gene from my dad and had already been cooking since middle school. Once I got a job, I later started to buy some of my own food (since "all those vegetables and stuff" were more money that would be spent on groceries). By the time I was in college, I was able to get into the university's gym for free, where I spent at least 4 days a week. By graduation, I was a svelt 137lbs, 6 pack and all. Okay, maybe it was a 4 pack, but still. I never felt better - inside and out!
Even though I put on about 10lbs after college was over, I still kept pretty healthy. But it WAS hard having a desk job and not having a huge stash of snacks and candy in my drawer at work. Hence, the pounds. Soon, I met my now-husband and had to make a push to fit in my form-fitting wedding dress! I joined The Biggest Loser contest at work, just to make sure my weight didn't fluctuate. It didn't, and I could breathe easy on my wedding night AND eat. It wasn't until about a year ago that things started going terribly downhill...
My husband is in the Coast Guard. Two weeks after the wedding, we moved down to Florida, away from all family and friends. I had never even moved out before, let alone had to start life from scratch. I went there with no job and no support system... it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But I made a vow that my husband was worth it, and he was and still is! I got a great job in my field (graphic design) and lived pretty care-free for a while. Even though my husband was gone for a couple months at a time, I kept busy with my new job and friends. It wasn't until his last deployment that things really started to crumble. Work was getting ridiculous. I worked close to 50 hours a week (salary, so no overtime $$), had no time for friends or fun, and barely enough time for my husband. When my husband went to sea for the last time, I went into a downward spiral of depression. I didn't have the will or the motivation to go to the gym by myself or cook for myself, and ended up eating out most days. I snacked all day at work and went out to lunch. By the time he got back, I had gained 20lbs in 2 months. I've got the love handle stretch marks to prove it!
I was disgusted with myself. How had I let it get this bad? I went from being in the best shape of my life to the heaviest of my life, with high blood pressure and worse asthma to boot. When we got transferred here to California 6 months ago, I was bound and determined to fight this thing. We got a membership at an awesome gym and now my husband is on a land unit (no more leaving woohoo!) so we make dinner from scratch (almost) every night.
It's still been a struggle, and my weight has plateaued, but I am determined to get back in shape. I'm steadily approaching the Dirty Thirty, and we really want to start a family around then. My goal is to be as healthy as possible so that our babies will be, too! No more huffing and puffing going upstairs. No more high blood pressure. No more excuses. The time to get healthy is NOW. I've learned the hard way that procrastination is a dangerous demon, but I am dead set on leaving those days behind. I'm excited for this new journey!
-Danielle