Well, day one went really well. I ate really well - actually had breakfast, drank a ton of water, healthy lunch, healthy dinner and a WW cupcake treat :)
Today I was rushing, didn't make breakfast, still drinking tons of water but forgot my snacks on the counter so now I'm stuck. Planning to go pick up a salad for lunch but feeling frustrated with myself that I already didn't prioritize myself first today.
I've always struggled with my weight. Ever since I can remember, there was someone telling me not to eat that, make better choices, exercise more and one time I was even asked if I was expecting. That should have been the wake up call but instead, I crept futher into self-loathing and gained even more. In addition to always struggling with my weight, I've always put everyone first. I am the person that when asked for help, I jump right in, I always listen, attend events, work hard and try to better myself in so many ways...just not my weight. I'm finishing my final year of my masters program and am already thinking about law school in a few years and running for state office in the legislature in a couple years. I've always been driven, goal oriented, motivated but why not with my weight?
Last year, I lost about 30 pounds. It was amazing. It was a ton of work and I followed a very structured diet and worked out about 5 times a week, but I fell off and stopped sticking with it. That in turn pulled me deeper into disliking myself. While I know I'm not an ugly person, I feel ugly. I feel uncomfortable with my body. I've avoided the beach/pools for a couple years now because of it and even on a month long trip this past summer, I wore pants much of the time, even when it was sweltering hot just to avoid people seeing my legs. Sleeveless shirts?! No way! I fully acknowledge that getting to this point has been all my doing. But I also recognize that in order to get out of it, I need to do it too.
So what is it that I want? I want to be smaller in general, feel more comfortable, less 'large and in charge' and able to run up the stairs without being winded, able to chase my niece with ease, have more energy. Most importantly, I want to be strong - physically strong. I want to be able to run in some 5K races for charity. I'd like to take on a Tough Mudder or Spartan Race and not worry about whether or not I'll throw up or not make it to the end. I want to have muscle and to some extent become an athlete. I want to incorporate activity into my regular life.
I'm hopeful that this forum, community and challenge will help kickstart these goals becoming a reality. It really is mind over matter. I am fortunate to be able to purchase healthy food. I am capable of cooking and preparing my meals. I am strong enough to choose myself first.
I know there will be bumps in the road and not every day will be perfect. I'm not striving for perfection but instead gradual progress. It's taken me years to pursue my masters so I know immediacy is not possible for every worthwhile goal. So I'm committing. I'm committing to 4% for this challenge and committing to continue beyond the challenge's culmination. This will take time but the end will be worth it.
Let's do this! Who's with me?!