So I was watching Dr. Phil today and the topic was weight loss. Two months ago I probably would have just moved on to something else because I did not feel motivated to lose weight, but today I was feeling super proud of myself and my 20 lbs weight loss in less than 2 months. Anyways he started to talk about his new diet book and how it works and I'm thinking that's kind of what I've been doing by myself anyways so I was going to change the channel, but then the focus shifted to real women who have issues with their weight.
Two women were making lots of jokes about the way they eat and don't exercise and I was laughing along with them because that is exactly how I act about my weight: it's no surprise to anyone that I like cupcakes and everything else. Then they got into why they do that- to cope with themselves being unhappy with their weight and also to try and drown the mocking from others: you cannot hurt me, if I have already said it! I got to thinking about moments in my life where I felt super ashamed of how I looked and there are two huge times and I started to think about the people that made me feel that way. One person who made me feel that way is part of my extended family... I know that they would NEVER intentionally make me feel that way and I'm sure they do not even know that they made me feel that way. The other person was someone on my basketball team in high school and she was talking about me behind my back (or so she thought: I was right behind her). She was intentionally being mean and hurtful. I was thinking about these two big instances and I felt empowered instead of ashamed in this moment. Instead of proving them right I'm proving them wrong! I'm way more than a number on a scale & no matter what that number is I know I am an amazing human being and I will be happy with my body! No one defines what my beauty is! :)