I can't even begin to tell you all where I have been as it seems I have ran and ran and ran at this thing called life and this past year is the first time I stood still. Lost on where I want to go in life and dealing with the damages of getting this far. I have learned all the tools I need to have to be successful over the past two years and have started to crack this huge wall I've built around myself. I was successful losing 50 lbs. but I have gained every pound back. Mainly self sabatoge thinking that it is not possible for me to be a healthy weight or >gasp< happy. Or letting events or people send me spiraling back to stress and self-hate. It is shocking to me how abusive I've been to myself. Physically and mentally. It is an eye awakening moment to realize how much you hate and love yourself all at the same time.
The first step I take in 2015 is to forgive. The first person is myself. For all the chances I didn't take. For all the times I held myself back. For making mistakes even when I knew better. For loving people and not always getting love in return. For feeling guilty when I didn't deserve to.
The second step this year is to put in the work. Can one move mountains without moving the first stone??? I no longer want to wallow in past memories but create new ones!
Good luck to everyone and I am very happy to bring in 2015 with such an amazing challenge!