This is my first DietBet post and not something I typically do. I'm not accustomed to sharing vulnerable pieces of myself with a community of strangers, but I have to get some support somewhere so here I am... :)

I have felt absolutely awful, bloated, sluggish and oh-so-tired this week. I had been eating relatively clean for several months & of course, wouldn't you know the temptation truck just dumped a gigantic load at my door. My sister wants me to go to lunch with her, my friends put together a bake sale for a family who recently lost their son and didn't have the money for pay the funeral costs so of course I had to go buy tons of brownies and cookies (for that family & for my kids and my husband...I wasn't going to eat any of it) right? In my defense, I only ate two brownies, thank you very much. My husband wants fast food for breakfast & supper, he brings home chips and sweet treats for me (trying to be thoughtful because he knows I love those things and he loves me), & my mom (who is also trying to lose weight) gives me her candy bars and says, "here, eat these so I don't!" Lol

I'm sure you've all been there. It's just really hard to turn those things down sometimes. Not only that, but when I do turn them down or I accept a lunch date and go with the healthier option of a salad or fruit, I have to hear lectures on how I "already look good & don't need to watch what I eat other than to watch food go into my mouth." Or I endure a speech on how I'm making everyone else look bad with my yoga, exercise and salad choices -- "gosh, just get something fried so I don't feel bad." I WANT to get something fried, believe me, but it's not worth it when it makes me feel like crust on a cracker later.

I don't drink sodas anymore so of course my house was littered with coke bottles over the Labor Day weekend. My sweet family - whom I love dearly - complains when I make them dinner and then proceed to make myself something different or more nutrituous, but they also complain when I try to make a healthy meal for the whole family. Sometimes it feels like trying to live a healthier life is a losing battle. I know that isn't true and that I'm reaping far more benefits from choosing a salad & water along with doing daily exercise than I would be if I just did what nearly everyone else in my circle does (& what I used to do) & lived my life doing & eating exactly what I want when I want all the time.

I don't judge, tease or belittle anyone else for their choices and I know most of the time they mean nothing by it when they do it to me; they probably aren't even aware that it's happening. I'm just having trouble staying on track when no one around me is running the same race I am. I'm not doing this just to lose weight. It is not a diet for me; it is a complete lifestyle change. I want to eat better and be more active now so that when I'm in my 50s & 60s I'll be able to run circles around my grandkids. It's not about having a "beach body" (though that would be an amazing benefit), it's simply about being healthy, putting less chemicals into my body and feeling good.

Because of my crap eating, I am losing my motivation for working out. I know it feels good to do it. I know I'll feel better after I do it. It's just hard to make myself exercise when, at this current moment, I don't want to. I genuinely enjoy yoga and I haven't even made myself do that for over a week. I've been using excuses like, "I don't have time right now," "I'll do it later." or "I'm too tired."

Truthfully, I was (am) too tired, but so what?! I need to get off my butt and do this for myself. I can't allow myself to use the excuse that I don't have time too often because the moments I'm sitting here writing this post are proof that I do, in fact, have time. I just needed to get my motivation back and I figured the best way to do that was to make myself accountable to a couple hundred people I don't know. :) No excuses now...I'm getting up and going for a run. Or a jog....or maybe just a brisk walk? Lol The point is, I'm going to do SOMETHING. 

Thanks for reading!