I wrote this in August on my blog, 20 pounds ago, but it was a great reminder!! So I'm posting it here too!!
So here I am again: a 210 pound, exhausted mother. I wish I could say my weight was just the result of bad genetics, something I truly allowed myself to believe for years, but the truth is this: I am an overweight, stress-eating, food sneaking, study snacking, revenge-eating mom, who after a day of work, school, hospital clinical, mom-ing and wife-ing it up has no desire to meal prep, shop, cook or work out. I like my beer and wine, anything that includes pasta and cheese, and convenient foods I can grab on the go. And with the same dilemma I have faced for years back again for another round of its vicious cycle, I am ready to get off of this merry go round.
Stepping off of this cycle will require many improvements to my health. While these are important (and I will get to them soon!) I feel that it is first important to address the lies I have told myself for years, remove excuses that create a barrier to me and success, and replace these lies with truth.
Lie #1: I am not genetically designed to be skinny
For years I was told, "Miller women are just large. We have big bones and a large muscle mass. We can never look like those girls in their size 2 pants." And for years, I believed that it was just never meant to be. This of course perpetuated a lifetime habit of not giving a crap what I ate because, what was the point? But here's the truth: My family, and especially myself, have NEVER been given any diagnosis that could possibly indefinitely prevent us from losing weight. The truth is that no person in my family has been able to successfully turn a "diet" into a life-style, and no person in my family has been able to maintain their weight loss with their constant yo-yo dieting. A week long diet followed by a month of terrible eating will never yield results that last.
Lie #2: If I work out, I will just bulk up and look even bigger
Despite multiple attempts to find verification that this is a thing, I have come up empty handed. This is yet another lie that I was fed as a child (in fact my mother just told me this again today!) Nowhere in history-and yes that may an exaggeration-has an over weight woman who decided to begin working out , heck even start body building, become a hulky-he-woman. Muscular, yes. But going from a size 18 pant to a size 20 from doing some exercise is either something people don't feel inspired to document on the internet, or doesn't exist. I'm betting it's the latter. I am constantly looking at inspirational photos of women my size who lost significant amounts of weight by consistently exercising. If they were able to get these results and conquer similar lies to mine, then so can I!
Lie #3: I don't have time to cook and go to the gym
I probably tell myself this one the most. As a woman who works 30 hours a week, attends nursing school full time (which comes with class time, clinical time, and study time for exams), has a house to clean, 2 very young children to take care of, and a husband who deserves some attention too, I am constantly hearing the words "I don't have time" coming out of my mouth. But here's the ugly truth: No human being who has NO TIME should be able to log as many Netflix, Facebook, and Pinterest hours as I do. So is the issue really that I don't have time? Or is it really that I would rather spend my free time vegetating on my bed with my phone than working on self improvement? I don't think you really need me to answer that question...
Lie #4: If I'm starting my "diet" tomorrow, I should eat all my favorite, unhealthy meals today!
EERRRRRR [buzzer noise] !! Colossal error! Beginning a healthy lifestyle does not give you a free pass to eat whatever your heart desires (and then some more...because who knows...this could be the last time we ever taste this food again). Not only is this a terrible idea for the reason that a normal day suddenly turns into a four to five THOUSAND calorie day, but also this means every time you have a "bad day" and feel the need to start over, you have just given yourself a free pass for another 5k calorie day. Now imagine this in a girl who probably starts healthy eating multiple times in the same week. And BAM! A 210 pound woman who can't understand why she can't lose the weight when she eats healthy 4 out of 7 days in the week. Did I mention that those 4 "healthy" days all included at least 1 screw up, which lead to the binge eating off days in the first place?
Lie #5: I can't cook for a toddler and make healthy meals for myself
Okay, so here's the deal. I know I am not the only mother who struggles to get her toddler to eat healthy meals. But when you feel the need to make a separate, more tasty meal for your kids, choosing your chicken breast and broccoli over the left over half a box of macaroni and cheese is not going to end well for the carb starved, exhausted mother who just wants a freaking bite (which turns into polishing off that pot when your husband isn't giving you the "you don't really want to do that" look). So for me, I HAVE to stop making meals for my kids that are going to trigger me. Secondly, I need to be leading by example if I am ever going to stop the cycle of eating crap that seems to run deep in my family. If I want my children to have a fighting chance at being healthy adults, I need to be teaching them how, and now. So goodbye boxed goods, refined sugar, fast food, juice and picky eating. Eat what mama is serving or be hungry.
Lie #6: I can't recover my body from 2 pregnancies
I hear it all the time: You just had a baby! It's okay to be a little overweight right now. News flash: I was chubby before I got pregnant, and had fifty pound pregnancies back to back. I am not just "a little overweight," I am clinically considered obese. Also, it's been 8 months since my little princess graced us with her presence. I think my grace period is over. I have numerous mom friends who have had multiple children and still are smaller than I was as a Jr. higher. I follow numerous women on Facebook who have won back their bodies since having children. This is just another excuse I have come up with to settle for the body that I have now. After going through the incredibly beautiful experience of pregnancy and childbirth, I owe it to myself to rock a body I can be proud of. Will I always wear these stretch marks? Yep! But what's under my clothes doesn't concern anyone but me (and my incredibly sweet hubby), and when I successfully make it down to my goal weight, sorry, but I am not going to give a crap what someone thinks about my mama scars.
Lie #7: If I screw up one time, my healthy eating is ruined and I'll have to try again tomorrow
Again, colossal error. Just because your work bestie surprised you with your favorite coffee and morning pastry doesn't mean you're doomed for the rest of the day. Still eat that salad you had packed for lunch and make that healthy, yet surprisingly tasty, dinner you had planned for the family. Do not give yourself another free pass to eat whatever you want simply because you ate one thing, or even one meal, that wasn't exactly on your healthy menu. If you are not a place where you can resist the temptation being thrown at you, don't sabotage yourself by throwing in the towel all together. I didn't get this heavy overnight. The "starting over" effect has lead to days upon days of binge eating in preparation for my upcoming diet. In order to make this a lifetime habit that will have lasting effects, the "oh no, did I just eat that?!" moments should be followed by, "Okay, I messed up...probably should have spit that out...but let's keep going. You've got this!"
Now everyone has their own lies that they tell themselves. These are just mine. But if we are going to be successful, we need to pin point phrases or things that we have been telling ourselves that have become a barrier to weight loss and health goals. Determine whether these are realistic beliefs.
Finally, I'll leave you with this thought: Are there ways we can be better managing our time to make ourselves a priority too? I know that as a parent, I am often the last person I think about: eating hot meals-thing in the past, finishing a cup of coffee while its still hot-HA! Do I sacrifice time with my kids to go to the gym? And please don't tell me I'm the only one who debates whether I would offend the world by not taking a shower while the kids are finally sleeping so that I can sneak in a few z's, or get the laundry washed that's been piling up since Saturday...of last week...
I want to encourage other parents out there by saying that when I take a couple minutes to take care of myself, I am of a better mind to take care of others.
xoxo
Missy