Since 2011 I had privately dealt with depression after dealing with a series of personal setbacks & life changes. Newly married and living hundreds of miles away from family & loved ones, suffering a miscarriage & subsequent infertility, financial struggles, health scares..... You name it. I dealt with it. As a result, I sought comfort in food, self-pity, & seclusion. It took coaxing from a close friend and seeing a picture of myself to finally make a decision to change what I didn't like & learn to love myself in my current state. The latter part was hard! I had allowed shame & the opinions of others to cloud my perception of how I viewed myself. On February 1, 2014 I made my first bold step of joining a crazy intense gym called 9Rounds! It was all or nothing. I told myself that if I was going to commit to making a lifestyle change that I might as well jump in the deep end. I started by working out everyday after work for at least 30mins. I also did a 180 change in my relationship with food- 1500 calories limit a day, fruits, veggies, & lean meats only. While it seemed extreme to some I knew that if I gave myself an exit strategy that I'd be bound to fail. After a few weeks of sticking to my newly adopted lifestyle I started to see & feel results. I wasn't winded as easily. My jeans didn't leave that "Now girl you know these pants are not your size" indentations around the waist! Most importantly, I felt my confidence increasing with each workout and healthy decision. I felt the transformation before I physically saw it!
During this early part of my journey I told God in prayer that I'd share my testimony AFTER I reached my goal of being 150lbs. Almost instantly He responded with "Where's the faith in that?". It was then that I received a commission to go public with my journey. Keep in mind that I had only lost a couple of pounds at that point. I was so afraid of being thrown off by naysayers & comments like "Dang girl! I didn't know that you had gotten so big!" For the longest I had secretly dealt with the need to gain everyone's approval. Putting myself out there was a test. With or without the approval of others this Melu2.0 Journey was mine. It wasn't perfect but it was my story of complete restoration. My initial goal was to get back to "my old self" however it became so much more than that. I now live everyday wanting to be a better version of myself. I'm not so much concerned with being thin as I am being of sound mind, spirit, & body. If the weight-loss portion of my journey were to stop today I would be satisfied because I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am whole & more than enough because of what God has invested in me. My worth is bigger than my dress size or how many people approve of me. He's given me the commission to be transparent so that my story could move people to step out and move in their own lives. To transform. Transformation isn't easy nor is it perfect but its necessary.
#Melu2.0 #50PlusPoundsLost #35MoreToGo #YOU2Point0 TriathleteInTraining #MyBodyIsShrinking #MyStatusIsChanging #MyDeclineHasDeclined #ImOnMyWayToBetterDays