I've always been really good at just squeaking by. I put off projects and assignments until almost the last moment, and then I somehow manage to pull it together by the deadline.
I've practiced the same principles with diet and exercise. I eat whatever I want and stay moderately active, and then I'll go crazy and diet really hard and work out for hours each day right before a big event. And then I go back to not watching what I eat or putting enough time and planning into exercise.
Recently I got a serious kick in the butt. I followed my same pattern, but this time I didn't squeak through. I got caught. And it was kind of a serious set back. Not serious enough to derail me, but serious enough to catch my attention. And maybe that's what I needed. I needed to finally get caught so I could see how bad and unhelpful my pattern really is.
So now I'm going to try to get serious. I say "try" cause I'm also trying to be realistic. No "I'll never eat this or that or I vow to run seven miles each day," but just: I'm going to try to do this for real. To exercise regularly, but in moderation. To watch what I eat so that I enjoy treats occasionally, but don't allow one pizza night to turn into weeks of fast food. I want to do this the slow, tedious, meaningful way. I want to get the weight off for good. And I want to move forward once and for all.