My wife does not understand temptation. She is one of those people who can stash a candy bar in her purse and let it sit there for two weeks. Forget about it, even. In her mind willpower is a given, a simple decision to say no.
Now, on the surface, we can all agree that is true. We make the decision to shove that slab of chocolate into our maw or not. But if it was as simple as saying no, there would be virtually no smokers on the planet. There are far more complex issues at play here.
If I was to stash a chocolate bar in my sock drawer, that drawer would become the center of my entire universe. The energy dispensed on fixating about that drawer could fuel entire cities. What separates me from her?
This last winter I read 'The Power of Habit.' A great, fun read that offers tremendous insights into how we are manipulated into fixating on bad habits. One of the key elements I remember is times of day.
When I awake each morning, I am full of good intentions. My resolve is so strong I fell that I could drop 20 pounds by day's end. But then I hit my walls.
The first is in the afternoon. If I am bored, or a bit sleepy, look out. I can try to fool myself by eating virtuous food like raw nuts, but the fact remains that I eat three handfuls of them.
The second is after supper. I somehow feel like the meal is not complete without some treat. Which might be OK if I ate a 1 oz square of dark chocolate. 7 cookies, not so much.
After the dust settles on any of these overindulgences, I sit in a daze, wondering what happened. And then the cycle begins anew the next morning. Intellectually, I understand what is happening. But I almost float out of my body until it is too late.
What is really funny (in a tragic way) is when I hold things together for a few days. Invariably, I feel like somehow this time is different, and that I have the problem licked. Except of course that it isn't.
I don't feel hopeless in all this. I am baffled, and a bit jealous of people like my wife. But I know I will never be that way. It does not make me a weak, just on a different path. My path requires constant vigilance.