Have you ever had that moment where you drag yourself out of bed one morning, look in the mirror and are taken back by the image that appears before you? Well, this has happened to me a few times over the years and it hasn't been the same result each time.

About four years back, I caught a glance of my reflection and had to go back and admire it. I was toned, healthy, full of energy, and stress free. Those are the times where you look at yourself and become your own silent cheerleader. I want that girl back. She kicked ass. (That is the girl in the photo.)

The years following that care-free day were like an extended ride on a roller coaster. My father was diagnosed with stage four cancer and all of my focus went to providing for him financially and taking care of him in his weakened state. I don't regret this time in my life, I stepped up and did what I had to do, and I don't ever want to use my father's illness as an excuse.

However, a few months before my father went into remission I found out I was pregnant. Let me clarify, I found out I was FOUR months pregnant. I had been under so much stress and distracted I had not noticed I had been gaining weight. Plus, I had no obvious reason to think I was pregnant until that fourth month came along. Needless to say by the time my 9lb 8oz son was born I had went from being 135lbs to 168lbs. Not an unhealthy weight gain considering the circumstances, but I have not done anything about it after the fact and it has been a year.

Since having my son my weight has fluctuated. I used to be the type of person that would run two miles in the morning and two miles at night. I use to do strength training almost every other day. I used to have a handle on my depression to where I did not need to take medication because I had found ways that helped me cope with the bad days. I don't want to use the words "used to" anymore. Instead I want to be able to use the words "I am."

Now my current weight is 156lbs, I know realistically after having a child that getting back down to 135lb is not a guarentee. My stomach is not in the same condition as it was after carrying a large child and having to undergo an emergency c-section. However, I refuse to let that reason or anything else become an excuse. The war has begun against excuses and myself. That happy go lucky, energetic, fit, and mentally healthy girl is still inside me somewhere and I am going to pull her back up to the surface.

So, bring it on world. I am in to win the fight to be fit! Time to get back to being me!