After my last post I didn't last long before i binged. THe binge lasted 3 1/2 days.
in those three days i ate a total of
6 large bags of chips
12 bags of sour candy
a whole bag of pasta with a whole bag of cheese
lots of soup
carrots (trying to be healthy and failing)
and 2 gallons of juice
yeah. pretty bad.
the funny part is before i binged i was 186. i ended up 188 4 days later. and have only been on track for 2 days
and i am 183. so weird. part of me is like "YUS i can eat whatever i want and still lose weight" lol but i know thats no true. maybe i boosted my metabolism. who knows.
But i do know that i cant eff up again. im not invincible. And im in a positive mind set anyway. I talked to my boyfriend how hard this is. how i need food to cope with anxiety unless i want to start cutting again or something. he basically shoook me out of it. told me to bask in the anxiety and not surpress it. he doesnt understand food addiction. he admits he thinks its stupid. but hes a counselor and so he did very well in making me feel hopeful that i can do this.
and he was right in saying planning helps. cause it does.
I hope everyone else is doing okay on your journey. I love all the support. We are so nice to eachother and i was worried people would be competitive and try to get you to fail so they had a better chance at the money.
So thank you everyone. I am cheering you all on xoxo