I had lap band surgery at Skyridge Medical Center in Denver, CO 5 years ago and lost about 50 lbs.  About 6 months after my surgery I was laid off from my job and lost my insurance coverage, but as long as I remained close to my surgeon I was OK as all his post op care was free.  I couldn’t find a job, so after a year of searching I moved home to Wichita Falls, TX.  I had maintained my weight loss but then I met a man.  He bragged about how much he loved big women and used to tell me I was too skinny even though I was still close to 100lbs over weight.  I ignored his constant pushing to eat garbage and pushing to gain more weight, but we argued constantly.  He began becoming emotionally abusive which turned into physical abuse later down the road.  Anytime I would try to leave he would threaten suicide and cry and like the stereotypical girl I believed his lies and stuck around.  Somehow in the middle of all of that fighting and making up I got pregnant…I didn’t know I was pregnant until I went to the doctor because of what I thought was early onset of menopause.  I was told then that I was having a miscarriage.  I ended up having to have an emergency D & C that night and was told that there was no pregnancy tissue and that I had most likely already passed it all.  I went back for my 2 week follow up and was told I was still pregnant.  It was an ectopic pregnancy and now to avoid further severe health issues I must take methotrexate injections to terminate the pregnancy.  These shots made me very ill and all of the violent cough and vomiting caused severe inflammation in the area of my stomach surrounded by my lap band closing my stomach and preventing me from being able to swallow even the smallest bit of water.  I went to a local bariatric doctor and had all of the fluid removed from my lap band as I did not have insurance to cover the visit and was not sure when I would be able to afford a second visit.  I slipped into a severe state of depression coupled with an abusive relationship; needless to say I ate and ate until I gained all my weight back. Then I left him April 21, 2014! I started eating healthy and going to the gym daily…I was on my way…30 lbs down and then I lost my job.  The college I worked for suddenly closed without notice and I was out of work (I was the financial aid officer).  I continued working out because I really didn’t have anything else to do until I found a job. Then I found a job…waiting tables at a friends’ family restaurant, that was bad…Chinese buffet every day.  Then I got a second job, sports director for a youth volleyball program.  I was thinking yeah I can work out, yeah right…drive thus and concession stands were the only thing I had time for.  Then in January of this year I got a job back in my career field working in Financial Aid at Midwestern State University.  I love financial aid, helping kids fulfill their dreams of higher education, but I couldn’t leave the volleyball girls high and dry so for 6 months I did both.  Then I went to the doctor for back pain after I hurt myself taking down the volleyball nets one night.  I weighed in at 301 lbs.  That is 4lbs heavier than my pre op weight and the heaviest I had ever been.  Not only was I heavier but now I was diagnosed as prediabetic and having back problems, not to mention the fatigue.  I decided I had to quit the sports director job to make time to take care of me. Over the last 3 months I had tried going to the gym or walking, eating better but I was stuck in a habitual cycle of self-sabotage.  I got a referral back to the bariatric doctor to have fluid but back into my lap band.  Now my insurance would cover the visit.  I was so excited; finally I was going to be back on the right track.  I waited 3 weeks for the appointment and the day had come and after 5 minutes of the doctor digging around in my abdomen with a very long needle he tells me that he can’t fill my band.  The port had come detached from my abdominal wall and flipped over, and in the off chance he continued and got fluid in it, the risk was too high that there would be too much fluid and he would be unable to get in again to remove it.  That situation would then only be resolved in emergency surgery.  The doctor also told me that it was highly unlikely for the band to work a second time around and recommended that I remove the band all together.  He did suggest a gastric bypass at this point, but be it that I am still fairly new on the job my insurance will not cover such procedures until I am employed for at least 5 years.  I was crushed, completely discouraged and beaten down.  Then I watched Tiffany’s (Pearls) episode of EWL, I had watched previous episodes but none hit home like hers.  I know her personally and we had started at the same time…she made it and I failed.  I bought Chose More, Lose More by Chris Powell about a week ago and have been reading every chance I got.  I weighed in on 7/29/15 at 300.2lbs and began eating healthier.  I started carb cycling on 8/3/2015.  I joined your Diet Bet game on 8/7/15 and weighed in at 297.4.