I am starving, or at least it feels that way, and it feels that way all the time. The first 10 pounds were tough to lose. They fought to hold on. The next 10 pounds were a little easier, and then the next 10 melted away like butter, seemingly over the space of a week. The My Fitness Pal line for that time is unusually steep, marking my rapid progress downward. The last 5 pounds were agony and I am in agony still, even at 5'8" and still 1500 calories a day, even being largely sedentary.

I try everything. Whole milk for saiety, even though using it after my usual skim feels luxurious and decadent, even though I use 3/4 as much, worried about my calories. I try adding leafy greens to my diet, several ounces at a time. Tea in the evenings, when my stomach is screaming, hollowed out from my refusal to eat any more. Gum, always. Vitamins to make sure my hunger doesn't stem from being nutrient-deficient. I pack in cucumbers by the pound, and I do mean a literal 16 ounces in a day.

Still nothing works. I am always hungry. I am hungry as I type this, wrestling with the knowledge that yes, it is technically "tomorrow" and my 1500 calorie limit has started over for the day. But that would mean white-knuckling it out again like I did Friday. I sucked back a package of Ramen at 3 am before I knew what hit me, and realized how depressing being 380 calories poorer was in the light of a long day.

The money keeps me going. I can responsibly lose 6.7 pounds in this time frame if I am diligent, but I probably wouldn't be able to muster up the motivation to push through to the other side of this gnawing hunger if it weren't for the money.