Things can only go up from here, right?
I have been 200+ pounds since the birth of my first child, and always remained around 200 up until I moved back home to live with my grandmother. Help her around the house, and help her with bills. I never thought it would turn out like this though.
Nothing in this world tastes better than my Grandmother's cooking. She always makes a lot too, even though she only eats the quarter of a saucer amount every meal. I wobbled around 235 for awhile when I had a job. Then after quitting that, I fell into a deep depression.
Here I am, a hundred pounds later and DESPERATE to get rid of this weight. Desperate to be able to go into ANY store I want and choose ELEGANT clothes again. I'm tired of not being able to wear the 'pretty' clothes because they're only for tiny women. I'm tired of going out to eat with my family and having people stare at me like I'm some freak. I'm tired of not wanting to look at myself in the mirror because I don't like how I look. I am equally tired of hearing "Wow, if I wore that I'd be swimming in it, you should lose weight."
I am 335 pounds right now. Nobody in my family has ever weighed that much. It's embarrassing, and shocking. I never, ever, thought I'd look like this.
At 125 pounds, I thought that I was overweight in high school. I starved myself, and excercised every day because I thought I was obese then. If I could see myself through my youthful eyes, I would not be happy with myself. I'm not happy with myself, but I will be.
Today, finding this site, it's hopefully the start of a brand new life for me. A better, thinner, healthier life.
I don't know what I'm doing, I've never really 'worked out' before except to a Jennie Garth VHS tape when I was a kid. Here's hoping I do something right.