Lying on my golden silk sheets watching one of my favorite shows The Following, not only because Kevin Bacon is a great actor (and his last name is something I have been craving for the last 3 days crumbled atop my world famous, and by world I mean my kitchen, dark chocolate maple bacon cupcakes) but because this show is awesome! So back to me in my bed recapping on the glorious day that will forever live in history. Kind of, not really.

Sipping on the comically oversized bottle of water I was so proud to find for only five dollars at TJ Maxx I wish I would have drunk more during the day since I am still so far away from my water goal. Today’s workout drained me in so many ways but it was glorious.

After 10 hours of sleep (don’t judge me I only get 4 maybe 5 if I’m lucky during the week and work 10 to 12 hour days) I rolled out of bed and started to sort through my obnoxiously bright athletic clothes. Cataloguing through neon orange, lime green and hot pink tops I finally find “the sweater”. Its worn purple cotton sleeves barely able to hold its own weight dangled as I pinched the collar to pull it out of the dresser. Sliding it over my head as I have done thousands of times before I was ready to ruin it with sweat once again. This was my favorite sweater to wear during my “hard” workouts.

Dancing into the gym to one of the top 40’s from my high school years I found my way to the treadmill. There it was in all of its glory, black as night, belt worn down the center with proof there are others like me out there. One bright orange shoe with purple shoe laces placed its weight on the machine. I could feel its energy ready to be let loose like a Mustang out on the prairie. Enter weight AWWW C’mon. Geez I was in such a good mood until now. I entered the 194, that’s when a flash of light reminded me that I will never be this weight again and my run will get me a few steps (well thousands of steps) closer to a healthier happier me.

Setting the time to 30 minutes I began my playlist specially made for my runs. “X gonna give it to ya” “I can’t stop” and “Ya’ll know what we came here to do” were just a few lyrics that kept my feet moving in an over repetitive motion. 5 minutes past. This is usually when I take my break but I felt amazing, Air wasn’t burning the back of my throat as it usually did by this time. 10 minutes. Wow Kailey you’re doing great. I started to emotionally pep myself up. You can do it. 5 more minutes, break the mold! The little cheerleader in my mind was going crazy as if she took too much pre-workout! 15 MINUTES! I couldn’t believe it. This is insane, I haven’t run this long in over a year. I can do it. Just keep going the whole 30 minutes. AAAAAnnnnnd I stopped. 16 minutes in, walking for 4 I lightly jogged out the last 10. Woot. 30 minutes down and almost 400 calories burned.

I couldn’t stop now. My C4 just started to kick in and I felt alive! Blood pulsing, my face as red as it can be and my CarMax hat covered in sweat I walked over to the elliptical. 60 minutes. I would give you details on this part of my workout but let’s just say it wasn’t pretty, but another 610 calories down. It’s been a good day.

So why do I feel so bad? Why is my head pounding like there’s a child playing with fire crackers right behind my eyes? Why do my knees feel like Jello every time I take a step up my stairs?  Why is my gut empty, I’ve had my calories counted out perfect today, can someone answer this? Why? Because I over did it. I did was so many people have done before me. You ever notice those folks at the gym, the ones who seem to do every single class available, the ones on the treadmill for hours, lifting weights from dusk until dawn. You’d swear they live at the gym but they never seem to change. They stay the same weight, muscle mass and all. Why aren’t they the most successful ones at the gym?

I’ll tell you why. Because our bodies can only go so far before it refuses to burn calories lose water or build muscle. You need to listen to it. Drink your water. If you’re going to burn 1000 calories a day in the gym you need to have the proper diet to support it or you’ll just end up with a headache and stomach cramps. I hope all of you that are toward the end of your journey with this diet bet don’t dive into the deep end and wonder why nothing is changing. If you plan on burning more, please do the research on how to sustain that behavior!! I would hate to hear any of you getting hurt!

Much love, from your kooky mascot.

KB