Second post in one day, I am on a ROLL.
I just entered my second kickstarter. It was only ten dollars, so I thought hey, why not. Better to keep me motivated when my current one ends in less than a few weeks.
Today was a good day. I went to the gym, I didn't exceed my calorie limit, I drank plenty of water, and I ate well.
I'm off work tomorrow, so that's fun.
I'm not sure where my boy's gone however. MIA for the day, -which while it is concerning, it isn't something I can obsess over.-
But that's a different issue in it's own. I just want to put my appreciation out there for this site, and those who keep it up and running.
I love all the support I myself have received, and seen be given to others. It puts me in such good spirits whenever I see a fellow agent completing their weightloss missions.
It's always been a dream of mine to motivationally speak and hype like minded people up for success, so I suppose the best place to start is..well, here!
So let me also take a moment to say this.
For everyone struggling, succeeding, and thinking about devoting yourself to a healthier lifestyle, you are WINNING.
It doesn't matter if you've lost a pound or put a pound on. The important part in this right now is that you've let the idea cross your mind, and you're on this site, reading my blog, because you're planning on doing something about it, and I love that.
I don't have children. But when I see people doing these things for themselves, a maternal instinct inside me just takes over to help and support and cheer you on from the sidelines if I can't be there to help you on my own.
Please know that weightloss has so much more to it than just going to the gym, eating right, and dropping pounds. Weightloss comes with it's own struggles, but to also face your own outer struggles and strive for success in one of the hardest life style changes there is? You are a brilliant being for sure.
You know, when I began to get into weightloss and fitness, I wasn't concerned about it. I wasn't aware of starting it. I just did. I was dating this guy two years ago, see, and while he didn't have his own car, or license, or job, or diploma or GED and was super mean to me, I went and got a full time warehouse job to work with him so we'd both have a reliable way of transportation (me) and income for our rental.
My previous job before that had been sitting for five-seven hours in a call center, and on my off days, on the couch smoking a fat one with him while we played GTA for hours with my childhood friend.
In a matter of three months working in this warehouse, I had dropped pounds faster than I was able to afford keeping up with. I wasn't eating as much because the day started so early in the morning, and being a night person in the day, my stomach was either getting it's way, or rebelling and making me miserable for the first three hours of that shift from the food in it. So I was going TEN HOURS not eating a single thing, and TEN HOURS of walking nonstop in a hot ass warehouse.
I started that job in the end of March. I had gone from 240 to 175 by July easy.
This wasn't a healthy relationship in the slightest. I talked to my boyfriend while I dated my ex. Lived and slept with my ex. Cared and cleaned and worked for my ex. I let my boyfriend take all of my rage because I wasn't strong enough to throw it where it belonged. In my ex's face.
I went two years being beaten silly by a man I knew didn't love me, and two years stringing along a man who did. And that is something I can soley (B if you ever find this, I hope you're reading it) say, I am so sorry for everyday. I didn't need to worry about the gym back then. I was burning the calories at my job, and wrestling my ex for survival on a nightly basis. Let me just tell you,
while it certainly will NEVER be condoned as a good thing,
running around a three story rental house and blindly swinging punches in defense is a GREAT way to exhaust yourself. ahahahahapleasedon'ttakemeseriouslyahahah
but anyway, we lost our jobs, we broke up, and with the now heavy weight of an abusive relationship lifted off of my shoulders, I struggled in jumping around jobs for a bit, then ultimately moved back home to my roots after getting into trouble with the law for some green in my car.
(Yes. I am quite the toker. I believe in toking before a workout more so than any other time, mind you.)
In the process of this, I gained back to 203 and that's where my obsession with health and fitness came in. I was so disoriented by this weight gain, I refused to see that number get any higher. So here I am. And I'm gonna say it again.
If I can do this, you all can too. 2015 was a tough year for me. My toughest year yet. But you know what, I survived it. And flawlessly too. 2016 is kneeling down and I'm making it my bitch. Now tell me. If I, a what used to be meek woman with no idea of her own strength can hurdle through these struggles and come out on top, YOU ALL CAN TOO.
it IS possible. It IS possible to see light in EVERY rainy cloud you face. It's always possible. I can't stress that enough. While you may think you are walking through hell, lost, and lonely. You aren't. I'm here. I'm here for every bit of support you need, and the first thing I can tell you for that, is to just keep walking. The only place you can go after rock bottom, is up. Trust me, I was there. I was burning in hell. I was starving and crying and aching, and I crawled up that pit of depression to be where I'm at now without one single fuck given.
You can too.
If anyone ever needs a listening ear, a word of advice, or just a rally of cheers and positive vibes, you come find me, and I will gladly, and generously, give that to you.