My family is stressing me out.  I am mad, disappointed, sad, relieved, and happy all at the same time, but at varying levels and with different people.  I put a lot of pressure on myself as I'm labeled the "calm" and "responsible" one in the family.  I just hate when that means I have to mediate crap or figure out solutions when other people aren't pulling their weight.  I am trying to remind myself that I am grateful for the opportunity to even have these issues with these people becase life is short and some families aren't even close enough to interact in this way.  

Still, my first thought is that I need to eat something, preferably something sugary.  That's my go-to when I"m feeling upset in any way.  My husband used to buy me an ice cream cone when I was cranky to put me in a better mood.  It's sad that as far as I get in this process, the craving is so strong.  I want to feel better and I know that it'll give me some instant gratification to give in, but I want to remind myself that in the long run I'll only feel worse.

I knew today would be rough and tried to plan for it as much as I could.  I did yoga this morning.  I ate a healthy breakfast.  I forgot my water bottle, but I sucked it up and spent extra to buy a big bottle of water.  I was proud of myself for making a healthy choice for lunch of fish and steamed broccoli with sweet potatoes, when what I really wanted was a burger with fries.  Still, all this planning doesn't really make the stress NOT happen.  It's still there.  

So, here I am.  Venting to the DB world about the stress and how difficult it is to turn my back to the sweets/desserts that I want so badly.  There's a lot worse going on in the world than my problems and I'm trying to look at the bigger picture, but it's overwhelming sometimes.  It's hard learning to cope with things without turning to food.  In some ways, I feel more fragile and sensitive now that the food doesn't dull the feelings.  I have no answers right now, but just typing this has already helped me to feel a little better.