I have always struggled with accepting myself and my flaws and not being perfect and not comparing myself to the next person since I was a little girl. Growing up in my family it was always brought up on looks or weight and being compared to others. At 13 I was a lost soul and was looking for love in all the wrong places and found it in someone who was not the person I should have been even associating myself with. By 15 I was pregnant and being emotionally and physically abused by him and my self worth that was already on the fringe was now no longer in existance. After my pregnancy he told me how ugly my stretch marks were and that my stomache looked so gross that no man would ever want me. Unfortunately I believed that for many years and was very ashamed of my body. Fast forward...and I have 4 beautiful children and carrying my babies for sure had a toll on my body on the inside and out. I would say maybe in the last 2 years I have come such a long way on reversing my thinking and my belief about myself. However there is still a way to go but I feel like I'm still making huge revelations about myself and not being so critical or even just realizing that my self esteem shows in even my posture when I walk. That was something I realized this past week and it was huge to see the difference in how I carry myself throughout the day and how that reflected in how I felt. And then there is growing up and dealing with having a bigger bust than most and that didn't get any better with having kids. But I noticed that I was trying to hide that by slouching and being hunched over and feeling that I shouldn't put my chest out more than it already was, weird I know but that was my thinking. Another revelation was today on my drive into work...I happen to glance at my mirror on the visor above me and at that moment it just flashed in my mind that this wasn't the body that is underneath the extra weight that I am carrying. I actually saw the body underneath it and it was actually really cool to see that because sometimes it's hard to see what we will look when all of the weight is gone. But it was a motivation that I needed. I never like to focus on looks so for me it's more about how much harder it is to move around in this body and how it feels to have to lug all of this weight around. How would it feel to bend over and tie my shoes without feeling like I am going to pass out. Or dreading any activity because I'd rather keep it easy and simple than to be moving around. Well this journey I know is far from over and that it will be a lifelong of revelations here and there, but for today I will be thankful for my growth over the years and how far I have come on accepting my body just the way it is. :)