When I think back on my life, diet, weight loss and weight gain seem to be the overarching trends throughout.
I was a fat child and got picked on as a kid, I don’t recall ever eating particularly unhealthily just a lot. And looking back I think sweet treats became a reward so once I was old enough and moved out of home, those treats became daily as they made me feel good!
As a young teen I used to go to weight watchers with my mum and try to lose weight and it never worked. I recall sitting in the weight watchers car park with my mum eating candy before a weigh in one week! Looking back, my mum really didn’t help my weight loss, her way of showing love was (and still is) nurturing by feeding delicious things to those she cares about.
And unintentionally was not doing the best thing for me health wise. I love my mum to bits and don’t really blame her at all for my weight issues, but its funny how things seem when you look back!
I hit my heaviest weight at the age of 24, 128kgs. I was happy and didn’t really care about my weight as had a supportive group of friends (thanks to roller derby) who loved me with my rolls! But it wasn’t until i broke up with my partner did I realise I wasn’t doing best by myself and needed to put myself first!
This started a weight loss journey, to begin with it was just cutting out snacks, and the kgs started melting off. As the weight slowed I started counting calories and every time it slowed, I reduced them. I was obsessed! Food, calories and my weight controlled my life for a year. And I lost 65kgs in that time and got to 63kg! Unfortunately the last 6 months or so, I was living on 500calories max.
Was not healthy and not learning good food habits which would last me!
Needless to say, after that year ended i started gaining weight instantly. I ended up sitting around 75kgs and was happy for quite a while, then it crept to 85 so i started dieting again. Restricting far too much.
I got back down to 72kgs and binging tendencies began. I would sneak food and eat until i couldn’t eat anymore and feel so guilty and hated myself for it I would vow to be good again, next day came and the same thing happened.
Over the last year the binging had got bad and the weight kept climbing. I ended up back at 112kg. Somewhere I had promised myself never to get to again, and was well on my way to the 128kg I started the whole thing 6 years ago at! I was disgusted. I couldn’t see how my husband could still love me and it was affecting us as a couple I believe.
We had a rough year with a couple close family pass away, so decided to book a holiday to Europe in August 2017 for 2 months!! And to start a family when we got home.
These two things were the biggest motivation for me to lose weight. To be fit for our trip and healthy for when the time came to have kids.
A started a few months back by seeing a naturopath and getting some hypnosis done. I was a bit sceptical at first, but WOW, one session and I felt amazing, I felt in sync with myself and the cravings vanished! And managed to lose 10kgs in the following couple months.
We have upped our exercise together and I am starting to enjoy it!
And this week I joined Dietbet as an incentive since I was already on this journey to really push and get off as much weight as possible before we leave on our holiday.
My goals is to do this healthily. I am eating 1200 calories a day and will not drop below that to ensure I don’t get back into restriction mode and we exercise regularly to ensure we have the stamina to walk all those incredible European cities.
I hope to continue this journey and learn to live a healthy lifestyle and lose the weight at the same time. I expect to gain some weight while we are away on holiday but will be back at it once we are home in order to get down to my goal weight before we start trying for a child. I hope I can also be a good influence on our kids so they don’t have to go through everything I have with my weight!
Wish me luck guys! I’m in it for the long haul!