I've done this what feels like a gazillion times. I am so sick of the yoyo-ing. I am so sick of not feeling good about myself. I am so sick of looking at food like it's the bad guy. I want to enjoy life. I want to gain controle over my eating and not have to worry about over eating. I want to savor every bite and not feel guilty. I want to have energy. I want to be able to run around with my son.

My biggest struggle has been food. I don't know what's considered an eating disorder but I definitly tested those waters. I would binge eat and it was awful. I would eat well for 3-4 weeks, lose weight. Then binge eat for 2 weeks straight and gain 8 lbs. That's a lot in 2 weeks. That's disgusting. I felt disgusting and guilty. I don't ever want to have that feeling again. I want controle. I controle my body, it does not controle me.

I've got this.