Emotional Rescue!

Starting over again.

Wow!!!! I mean, how many times can a person gain & lose the same 10 pounds? This time will be different. Will it? I know it is not a lack of desire that prevents my weight loss success to stick. I believe it is a total lack of control over my emotions. 

Now you might think I am a nut case or neurotic, I could be both. Actually, I am a pretty stable, semi- normal, probably average, 52 year old woman with typical issues.

1. Low self esteem, been there- done it with the "Super Woman" thing, (totally over that).

2. Post menapausal energy loss,(used to over exercise as a matter of principal, over that too!!).

3. Post menapuase weight gain, (now attaching to my stomach, EEEK!!). 

4. Love eating clean but refuse to give up my red wine & chocolate. (red wine is good for my heart & dark chocolate has soooooo many anti- oxidants! ha, ha, ha.).

5. STILL LETTING MY MOM PISS ME OFF!!!! ???? (am I 52 or 25??!!).

6. Refusing to acknowledge that I didn't just back off exercise, I am completely avoiding it! Truth be told, my TV provider told me I actually ordered to many movies this month!! I was shocked & said "but I paid my bill!!" They replied, doesn't matter, we have limits to how many movies anyone can order. As if!!?? So my reply was; "OK, fine, I guess that means I should go exercise, so I will go walk my dogs, thank you for the motivation." End of call. Am I walking? NO~ here I sit typing my thoughts because that allows me to AVOID exercising!!! I may have a problem there. 

So, my first blog post is a crazy rant about my issues. What does that really mean? I am not really in touch with my emotions. I need to remember how it feels to break a sweat & let those pent up emotions disapate. I read through my list & clearly see I am really just being a baby. Emotional immaturity. OK I can live with that. Perhaps for the day I will go tackle some walking & see if I can break a sweat. Maybe I will even jump on my rowing machine which has not been used in months. (Yikes!). And, yes I promise to walk my dogs too. :))

And, try to limit my red wine tonight to 1 glass.... well maybe 2. :))

With happiness, humility & humour....

Mara:)