My last blog I wrote about positive thinking and not lowering yourself for other benefits. I found that I was down grading my accomplishments to other people and how this was a toxic thought process. The thought of being negative has been on my mind the past two weeks and tonight I took this thought a bit further. I have always seen myself as a pestimist. Thinking positively has always been a struggle for me. I don't know why, it just has. Several years ago I was struggling with my relationship with my Dad. He has always been a negative source in my adult life. Our relationship is a lot better these days and I'm thankful for that. But back when it was at its all time worst, I went to meditation classes to help with the stress of our relationship. Meditation helped a lot and I also learned about the Buddhist teaching regarding "Peaceful minds". Buddhist believe that in order to have a peaceful mind, you have to not allow others negativity infect you. The idea that anger and negativity is a disease and we must act with compassion towards those who have these. Those people aren't negative, they have negativity. (I loved this concept so much, I tattoo'd it to my leg)
Now, when reflecting on myself, I realize - I have negativity. I'm not negative, I'm infected! I need to "cleanse myself" of this disease. My reflection came from negativity and stress I have been feeling at work. A co-worker and I have been struggling for some time to get along. I often feel she is disrespectful to me and is unprofessional. So, after a confrontation gone sour, I have been thinking. How can I let this negativity go? How can I move forward? How can I keep from allowing this to infect my mind to such a degree?
I found a few quotes tonight that really spoke to me:
"When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness"
(Lesson - Don't complain! I'm such a complainer, and I really need to stop because when you stop complaining outloud to people, you stop the thought pattern - you really do!)
"There are 6,775,235,842 people in the world. Why are you letting one of them ruin your life?"
Good question - Why am I letting this one person ruin my day? Week? etc!
"Key to Happiness... Is letting each situation be what it is, instead of what you think it should be"
"You can't be both Awesome and negative. Choose one!"
I am making a vow to myself to try to complain less. To attempt to catch myself in the act and stop the toxic thinking process. I even made sure when I had a phone call with my significant other who is out of town on a work trip tonight, to not focus on the negativities that I had felt earlier in the day but to focus on the positives and not complain. It felt pretty good to not spend our conversation venting about the day. One step at a time to happier me.
Plus, I must add, the past two weeks I haven't been able to work out due to having a sinus infection and a cold. I am really really missing my works outs and the happy endorphins they produce. Running and working out really was helping me be happier, now that I am not, I'm really missing it! Can't wait to be healthy again and hit the gym! Fitness really is beneficial to a good mood.