I am only going to weigh in at the beginning and the end here. I find if my focus is on the scale I get tunnel vision. I want to focus on making the changes that are going to get the results I want. I'm going to be a more mindful eater, not saying I will be perfect but I'm going to own my food journal. I'm going to focus on activity. My activity journal is going to have my strength training logs 2-3 days a week, 3 days of cardio, and two rest days. I'm going to take my vitamins and get my sleep.
The point of this is for me to be concious of my health. I have hit rock bottom; I was in disbelief when I got the call from my surgeon telling me I had anal cancer and that it had possibly matastized to nearby lymphnodes. This was the same type of cancer that took the life of a very beautiful healthy appearing woman Farrah Fawcett. Looking at myself in the mirror weighing almost 330lbs and going through treatment for the same cancer that killed her I broke down--by myself. I didn't want to let my husband, family or friends see me like this. I wanted to be strong for them and myself. Right then at my low point then and there I put on my brave face and declared to myself this was not going to get me. So here I am 4 months after my radiation/chemo treatments keeping my promise to myself. No matter the side effect of being put into early menopause, through the fatigue, and the insanely shrunken bladder-- I am going to make it. This is for my life.....