A Short History
So I'm going to keep this as brief as possible, because it's boring, but it ties into the larger blog entry. So I was a healthy weight to slightly overweight my entire life up until I was 19 (2003). Then after a traumatic event I became a full-blown food addict and gained 50 pounds extremely quickly. In something like 3-6 months, I can't remember now. So I went from 175 to 225. As of now, at 31 years of age, I've never gotten back to my original weight of 175. That's partly because when I was 26 (2010) I experienced another traumatic event, and gained another 50 pounds in 3-6 months. I'd lost some weight in the meantime, so this time I went from 200 to 250. 250 (technically 249) still stands as my highest weight. Since 2010 I have never gotten back to 200.
Back in the Present Day
As of this afternoon I'm 206. This is the lowest I've been since 2010 and also the first time since then that I've really felt like I was close to getting back to that 2010 weight. Not to mention I'm only three pounds away from winning the bet.
I saw the weight, was happy for a second, then got off. Then I decided to get back on and let it sink in.
I'm seven pounds away from being in the 100's for the first time in five years.
I'm 43 pounds down from my highest weight.
I'm 24 pounds down from what I was at the beginning of the year.I put my shoes back on, sat down at my desk and thought, You know what? I can do this. Those weren't empty words, like something I would tell myself in the hopes that I would believe it. I just spontaneously felt them. And it sounds cheesy, but I don't know how else to put this: in that moment I felt inside like the sun had come out.
Caveat
That's not saying I'll be perfect. If my post-Jillian Michaels DietBet win binge is any indication, there are binges in my future. I think it's entirely possible that even at my goal weight I'll have the occasional binge here and there. And I've done a lot of back and forth this year - this might not be the last time I'm 206.
However...
But I'm totally on my way. I've got a lot of forward momentum; it would actually be difficult to go completely back now, instead of it being a matter of course like usual. I've figured out what foods to keep in the house that I enjoy eating but don't binge on, which is huge. I think it's been the biggest reason I've done so well this time around. Part of it is also that I buy the food in bulk at Costco, meaning instead of going to the grocery store most days, I only go around twice a month. So there's less opportunity to buy things I shouldn't. I can actually see the difference in my body, which I usually can't. I'm actually rewarding myself (I've had a hard time of this in the past due to not feeling like I deserved to spend money on myself) - I'm going shopping tomorrow.
And this time, when I say I can do this, I actually believe it.