I love going to the gym and I hate going to the gym. At over 220 pounds, I feel like people are judging me. I live in a small town and actually work there, so I know that's not the case. More are really friendly and supportive. But I grew up in the city and went to GoodLife and I hated the way I felt there. Like I wasn't welcome and judged. When I actually start running on the treadmill, I feel like I am ridiculously loud because of all the extra weight. And people are sitting there thinking that this lady is about to have a heart attack.
But here's the thing...
In order to become a fit girl on the treadmill, I need to start as the fat girl first. I love to run. I used to be a runner. Not an amazing one, mind you, but a runner nonetheless. It's what I'm hoping to do to help myself be successful. I do intervals and I have goals set. I try to shave time off my previous record of distance per minute. I push myself, and I push myself hard. I have a tracker at home and I put all my stats on it and make the calculations.
I want to inspire others who might be too scared to start doing it because of their weight. Start small. Walk for 5 minutes and run for 30 seconds. Do that for 30 minutes and you've run for a few of those. You have to start somewhere. Next thing you know, you'll be urnning 2 minutes and walking 2 minutes. After that, you'll realize you're able to run for 19 minutes straight. It's a feeling like no other, and I was definitely on cloud 9 that day.
I want everyone to look at me as the fat girl on the treadmill and see my dedication and determination. I am motivated. I want them to see me sweat and not give up. To push myself and smile at my accomplishments. I want them to be inspired and in awe. If the fat girl can do this, what can I do?
Yes, I am the fat girl on the treadmill, and I'm only going to get stronger.