"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." - Lao Tzu
At least that is what those pictures of the attractive girl walking down the train tracks on Instagram keep telling me. What no one told me was that some journeys of a thousand miles begin with a FitBit, My Fitness Pal app, and a diet bet website.
Maybe that doesn't fit on the picture of the inspirational sunset.
Technically, I'm three steps in. Or on day three. Is that equivalent? There are 2,000 steps in a mile according to those walk your way to health websites which makes 2,000,000 steps in a thousand-mile journey. If a day equaled a step then a thousand-mile journey would be equal to a little over 5,749 years. Since I really don't plan on living 1% of that maybe a day is worth a little more than a step. According to my shoddy math skills, that are the result of public education so buyer beware, my "thousand mile journey" of weight loss is more like a day a mile journey so I am about three miles in.
So what do you do when you are three miles in? You contemplate why you started walking.
I'm fluffy. No reason to lie about it. Fat and obese are more accurate adjectives but fluffy is so much more fun to say. Plus I get to use that "ITS SO FLUFFFFYYYY!" meme or "Ewes Fluffy" with a picture of a sheep and well that is much more positive and fun than "fat ass". So we are going to go with fluffy.
See though, I've been fluffy for a long time. Me and my fluff? We are BFFs, man. It lets me eat all the carbs I want and I let it sleep in on weekends and read lots of books. We've got a DEAL and now I am reneging on the contract.
It is a hard contract to break too. Motivation isn't really there. I mean the great thing about always being fluffy is I know no other way. My clothes all fit and my husband still finds me sexy. I've had three kids and I've always found my way back to this weight. I literally don't know how to be any other weight or to shop for a different size. This is me and this is who I have been.
I am jealous. Jealous of those that have great motivators. Jealous of those that know what it's like to be in the other pasture. Those that can tell me it won't always look so horrible or miserable or overwhelming. Because really at the moment I am not quite sure why I am here and that makes for a horrible way to start a long journey. Arthur Dent had a towel and no other choice when he bumbled into his intergalactic journey. Me? I've got uncertainty and love handles.
So the Dietbet starts today. Six months to part with 10% of my fluffiness. I've got my Fitbit strapped on and have been scanning barcodes with MyFitnessPal app left and right. I've downloaded the C25K app and have struggled through a few weeks of it before this even started. I've got a double stroller and yoga pants.
I also have this big container of water that keeps leaking on my desk. Really gonna have to figure that out.
I'm not the skinny hipster stumbling down the train track and my footprints in the sand would look like a wildebeest trekked through, but here I am. Not sure if I am ready, kind of willing, but standing here regardless.