This is how you get 10,000 steps.
You wake up and get an infant and a toddler ready and out the door.
You "wake-up" a ten-year-old and then go and get a shower.
You try on no less than 2,000 outfits that are all apparently clothes you bought when you were temporarily blind because why in the hell would you have bought that if you were of sound mind and body?
You vow to buy an entire new wardrobe, remember you buy clothes for three little females, contemplate your bank balance, and give up all hope.
You spend too much time on Reddit while you are supposed to be brushing your teeth.
You tell ten-year-old that we are leaving in two minutes to discover that she never got out of bed and that is why "woke up" is in air quotes.
You do pigtails because you have three daughters and you are always doing pigtails on something. You are pretty sure you caught your spaghetti at dinner in pigtails the other day.
You deposit child to appropriate summer chaperoned conditions.
You go to work.
You walk in from the closest parking lot you can find a spot in.
You maybe walk to a meeting.
You go to lunch and walk to the food trucks in downtown. You wonder how in the hell you are going to put this lunch in your My Fitness Pal app since you didn't see an "Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here" option.
You walk back to your car while eating the best chicken quesadilla in the world and hoping maybe your body won't notice the calories. That is a thing right?
You walk back to your desk.
Somewhere during your ridiculously long webinar you switch out your office chair for an exercise ball to keep from dying of boredom.
You bounce.
You leave to pick your child up from her hockey game.
You park furthest away this time. Never forget the food truck quesadilla.
You walk into the ice rink before you realize you forgot your jacket.
You walk back to a warm vantage point in the lobby where you can still watch your child burn more calories than you can conceive without the cold, cold hand of death wrapping you in her sweet embrace.
You walk to the bathroom a few times...and a few more times...because you drank all 62 ounces of water in the afternoon.
A parent in the parent pack (pack? gaggle? herd? congress? What is a group of parents?) smells weird. You start circling the lobby to avoid the funk.
You visit the bathroom more. Would it kill them to heat the bathrooms? Contemplate how you would explain frost bite on your neither regions to the ER doc.
You leave with said child. Trek back to furthest point of parking lot.
Drive home and contemplate what might not push you over the edge for dinner, but thanks to your extra hour detour you are now starving.
Stop at Moe's. Get salad (and just a smidgeon of chips and guac cause I'm only human. STOP JUDGING ME)
Get home, try to eat salad while infant attacks you from various angles. How dare you have a job and be separated from her for multiple hours a day and not immediately merge with her at a molecular level when you arrive home?
Realize in-laws are showing up tomorrow. Groan audibly.
Clean kids room which must double for a McDonalds playland while you are at work during the day to need as much sanitizing as it does.
Put two children to bed. Ruin oldest child's life by telling her she has to clean her bathroom.
Move on to tackle kitchen. It is apparently moonlighting for a commercial kitchen at a third world country truck stop while you are at work given the amount of mess. Wonder why you didn't marry that lawyer that flirted with you in the parking lot while you were paying for your parking so you could have a cleaning lady.
Scrub kitchen, verify work in other rooms done by family members that never learned the word "clean" in their lives.
Put third child to bed. Field no less than two million questions in the process. Consider running away to one of those islands that doesn't have internet or phone service.
Go upstairs put away laundry. Consider the whole lawyer thing again. Cleaning ladies do laundry too right? Decide every decision in your life to this point was a horrible one.
Fitbit has an orgasm.
Woot. 10,000 steps.