Day 15 - Got the blues...

I should explain the blues I got.  They are not blues of discouragement about my weight loss journey or lack of motivation blues...

Dealing with teenager blues/frustration!  The non-feeling, emotionless, needy & sometimes cold hearted teenagers. I know they can't help the way they act & they don't mean half of what they say but GD it still hurts...

Here goes & I will thank you all in advance for putting up with my whining today but I am honest & feel I need to open up to you & quite frankly just need a good old fashion rant to let it out & make myself feel better.

I try to be so positive everyday.  It is just the way I am...always has been.  I feel it very important to make everyone else feel great (I know this is probably a HUGE fundamental flaw to being normal but I just can't help it - I would rather see others happy before me)...BUT, I am slowly learning to be kind to myself...but old habits are hard to break.

I go out of my way to make others happy - constantly being the cheerleader, the motivator, the support, the uplifter -- especially when it comes to my kids...er...teenagers.  Here is where I've been knocked down...temporarily mind you but its a blow nonetheless.

I am a mother of two teenagers...now anyone with teenagers or anyone who remembers either being a teen or raising teenagers can feel my blues, my pain, my frustration, my cries...my holy shits are you for reals?

I realize that as a mother I need to be the "almighty one"... the one who constantly has to be on top everything, have everyone else organized, put myself second, etc, etc, freaking etc.!

Usually its a piece of cake, second nature, not thought required, happy to do it, wouldn't want it any other way...but for some reason, with me focusing on me, I'm finding it more difficult to shift things into balance...I can't go back, I can't risk losing everything I've done for myself over the past 15 days as I have never felt this positive...so, fellow support givers, throw a sister a bone...

I know this is a temporary feeling & I won't hold onto it as I don't invite or allow negativity into my "house", but if I didn't let it out on paper, so to speak, you may have read some nasty headlines reading..."A wild, enraged Mother of two loses her shit"...LOL

Thanks all for allowing me to show such weakness amongst my strongest times...I am humbled!

LAUGH, LOVE & SMILE (htrough my teeth today...LOL)...the rest will take care of itself...Be KIND to yourself & to others.

Jody

 

P.S.  I truly love my kids...just frustrated that they sometimes show such lack of thought for anyone else's feelings...RANT DONE -- FEELING BETTER...Thank Dietbetter family :)