Hi guys, welcome to another one of my blog posts! Today I want to talk about fear of gaining the weight back.
This isn't my first time to try losing weight. I've lost huge amounts before. In 2011-2012 I went down from 95 kg to 70 kg. But then I lost focus and I gained it all back plus some more. In January 2015 I started another weight loss journey at 108 kg and I managed to go down to 75 kg by the end of September. But then again, all the hard work was burried under the junk food and laziness.
Year 2016 is my third big try. I have a huge motivation and I strongly believe this will be my year, the year when I finally lose the extra weight, but more importantly, when I finally learn how to mantain.
Still, it's the end of day 8 and there is still that annoying little voice inside my head. It speaks to me sometimes, it says it's only the matter of time when I screw up again and I'll gain everything back and more.
This evening I'm watching inspirational videos on youtube and this one girl said exacly the same thing - every time she took a picture and posted it, she wondered if this would be the last one, if she couldn't do it anymore. But she did it! And even though I feel the same way right now, I also think that when she (and many, many others) could do it, why couldn't I?!
My problem is that I love food and I have no boundries. I'm able to eat three chocolates, big kebab and four donuts in one day, plus the regular breakfast/lunch/dinner meals. My goal for this year is to learn how to make smart decisions and how not to over do it. When I'll meet my goal or at least get closer to it, I know I'll be able to have a donut or cookies once in a while. But I really hope that by then I'll know how to say stop. Even if I should have bad days, I want to be able to wake up the next morning and don't feel sorry for myself, just accept the fact of what I did and keep looking forward.
But for now, I'm gonna avoid any temptations. Because right now I know that if I ate one cookie or one piece of chocolate, I'd give up completely and my weigh would go up right away.
I'm looking forward better days, I'll try to lower the intensity of the bad voice and I'm gonna believe this is the year all my dreams come true!
Eva