I think I’m going to break my Fitbit tonight with the amount of sleep I will successfully achieve. I can’t wait to see the notification of “Holy crap! We didn’t know that someone was even capable of drifting off for fourteen hours, Congratulations on the new COMA badge”! I will print and frame it with pride, bragging about ever tad detail to the poor girl behind the counter at the photo shop. It will be my greatest triumph yet.
EXCEPT, that like many other adults in the life, I have a job, kids, a dirty home, 3 dogs (okay normal people have 1 but I just can’t say no to strays!) and on top of all that I have to fit in some time for myself to stay sane. How in the world am I supposed to find time to do what I want? Read, workout, write, watch a movie, cook dinner! When?
As my mother would say, you don’t…. you go crazy!
Those 14 hours I so desperately was looking forward too has now decreased and keeps getting smaller and smaller. 10 hours, maybe 8, who am I kidding I’ll be lucky if I can get 4 because Bailey wants to go to yet another spin class in the morning and I can’t say no to her! Her motivation is what drives me. There is no better feeling in the world than when you have your step-daughter light up while asking you to be apart of the next big change in her life. I can’t say no to that, and anyone who could is a monster (and not the good kind that sleep under my bed and kindly eat all of my mismatched socks).
So now in an eerie way, like that foggy alley at the end of the street that looks beautiful in a terrifying way on a rainy day, I am looking forward to spin class. If you had the pleasure to read my lite opinion on Spin you will understand why it is this way. I’ll lie to myself as if I am my own parent saying we are going to Disneyland! I’ll wake up already dressed in my gear ready to see my childhood heroes, pile into the car only to have my joy slowly be taken away brick by brick as block by block we get closer to the GYM!
I know that “once you’re there you’ll feel better” sure sure. I feel like that’s what they all say just to get you there because they are being paid to say that. I’m pretty sure that once I strap myself into the bike once again flashbacks will bombard my memory as if I am one of those brave souls that served in Vietnam.
These blogs that I have written and will continue to write will be about my journey from the 200+ pound woman I was to the healthy fit lady I will become. This is one of those days that I really don’t want to write about. I woke up late, slept through my alarms. Arrived to work only to find out that I’ll be staying late… giving me no time to do the workout video promised to Bailey. One of my co-workers has been as loud as possible all day breaking my concentration. I just hate complaining but today is the day for complaints.
We all have them right? We all have that day where we wake up to the doom and gloom of the morning (even if its 72 and sunny we picture it as a scene from realistically any Stephen King novel) so how do we get over them? Good question. Great news is that I have no clue whatsoever! I can tell you that although the burger-joint down the street has been calling my name in the most sexual way possible I have resisted. I have a pound, yes a whole POUND of chocolate at my desk, the silky, smooth, rich milk chocolate imported from Belgium is just staring at me all day. I had my one serving I allow myself a day as it melted in my mouth and gave me pure bliss for 5 minutes, I knew that it would be giving me pure hell for about 2 hours on the treadmill but totally worth it!
As you can see I am not giving into food on this horrible day of horrors. I still have no idea on how to turn this day around. Do we just let it happen? Is it just one of those Dear Diary passages that people read and feel bad about themselves and for me? Or is there a way to rewrite the day? I would love some honest opinions out there! I’m going with the sad dear diary entry but am looking for ways to change!
Thanks for sticking it out with me world!