Hi. I'm not dead.

I'm also not actually off-wagon, though I've had some moments.

 

Suffice it to say that over the last 4+ months that I haven't been posting any bloggy things, life has kept on keeping on. I took a step back because, among other things, I could see myself getting obsessed with all things weight-loss-- food, dietbets, intake/outtake, planning, etc. I don't have a great track record when it comes to obsessing.

 

I stopped logging my food for a while, because I needed to. My gym routine suffered. I gained a little weight, I lost a little weight, but mostly I have maintained. This is pretty major for me, and my track record.

 

Since December I have been fully back-on-track, and I have some weight loss to show for it. More exciting, though, is a new mindset. Can I tell you something crazy? I have never NEVER enjoyed the gym. I have ALWAYS hated cardio. Holocaust-hate. I have been so far into a routine that I stopped having to bully myself into going-- but I have NEVER enjoyed the gym.

 

Guess what? I'm loving it. I wake up early to go, before work. If I don't go, I am antsy and LEGIT try to find a way to work it in. Sometimes that's pretty complicated, because single mom full time job threenager. But I do it, and I feel accomplished and happy. WHILE I'M ACTIVELY DOING CARDIO EVEN. I am back to doing yoga and pilates in addition to my cardio and weight routines-- just because I am excited to get stronger, more flexible, better. I'm not sure how to explain what's happened-- because I don't understand it. It's never happened to me before. I don't feel like any of this is a punishment. Wh-wh-wh-whaaaaat?!

 

No big deal.

MASSIVE deal.

 

Things are changing body/clothes/brain. It's pretty neat.

 

Anyway, I'm not back to religiously using this site, no bets or anything for me, but hello.

 

You are all gangsta and amazing and wonderful.