This week has been highly adaptive!

I continued to work out at the YMCA, which is great. I'm building my stamina in running slowly but surely, biking, lifting, and working on flexibility. I had to miss Trapeze/Hoop class last week because I was sick, which was a real bummer, but I was proud of myself for resting all day and really attending to my cold. In the same vein, I took this past weekend on silent meditation retreat which was hugely restorative. My relationship to my body, to food, and to exercise is directly dependent on having a mind that is at ease, balanced, compassionate, and joyful. Exercising as self-punishment simply doesn't last, and eating as a reward is also conditioning that distorts the beautiful gift that food is. That doesn't mean I'm going to erradicate those motivations overnight or completely, but it's great to have the reminder that those spaces of mind are not as helpful as clear, mindful, and joyful presence of receiving the inherent pleasure of enjoying movement & enjoying food.

This week my food has been a little less healthy than the week before and portion size has been creeping up. So it's time to renew my clear intention and excitement for salads, other vegetable-based meals, and for single-attention eating. The habit of watching Netflix or listening to a podcast while eating has been pretty ingrained, so stepping back and rewiring that habit is going to take some time. Patience and faith have always been my two best tools (even if they haven't been the sharpest!), and I think adding the tool of "showing up" or dedication would be wise. This tool for me is already sharp in the area of exercise. I show up, over and over again, even when I don't feel like it. But for meals, often a part of me is left behind in my full presence of enjoying the food I'm tasting and eating. This also relates to a way in which I see that my gratitude practice could be expanded - to include the meals that I am so fortunate to enjoy.

So.... 3.5 lbs to go until our first benchmark. I feel confident about losing 1 - 1.5 lbs this week, so I'm trying not to be overwhelmed. The voices in my head say, "3.5 lbs in two weeks?! That's crazy! How are you going to do that? You'll have to starve yourself and run an hour every day!!" And to them I say, "not true, cra-cra voices, not true. Choose vegetables, eat modest portions, show up at the gym and enjoy putting your heart into your exercise 5x/week and keep sharpening those tools. I know I can do it!!