It is amzing how perspectives change from the time of being 18 and 42.  I live in Montana, have raised 4 children (step children) and still have one at home.  So from the time my first child was born in 1991,  my senior year of high school, graduating high school in 1992.  I got married to the father in 1992.  Then have my daughter in 1995.  I was just living life, working, raising kids, being a house wife.   Not liking life.  Divorced in 1997.   

Met my current husband later in 1997.   He brought 2 children to the relationship.  Married in January 2000 and had my last child in March of 2001.  I have an amaxzing husband that now takes care of me.  It's amazing what a healthy relationship can do for your self esteem. So all those years of taking care of everyone but me are over.  Yes I still take care of the house, but I actually take the time for me!! Once a week I go to the local hot springs and sauna with just the girls.  Everybody needs that friend time or alone time.  I am a very attentive wife,  and am with my husband all the time. 

So here I am today, yes I have some structural issues but my mind is maturing and now looking at my self improvement.  My mother is a buyer, of everything for everyone.  Love that woman but her purchasing is part of my determint.  She buys clothes for me as "incentive" in her eyes but really just made me not like the outlook.  They were a size or two too small and she would say.  "You will get there".  So I would hang on to them and try but end of eating my anger.  

On my mission of life, I am cleaning house and my inner being.   So I am minimizing EVERYTHING!!

I want to be able to retire somewhere warm with my husband in 10 years and I don't want my kids to have to deal with my stuff.  Any of my stuff, material or emotional.  So I have had a conversation with my mother,  no more buying of anything.  I am at an age if I need it, I have the means to buy it myself.  So if she wants to get me a spa day absolutely just no more tangible stuff that clutters my life.  

Along with that I am working on me,  freeing my mind and body from the weight.  I am a work in progress as we all are. I am seeing little changes in my body, and I am so excited to see biceps.  My husband told me yeasterday it's going to be tanning weather go get the bikini on.......Cute he thinks I have a bikini.  But glad he is my support and sees me as the love of his life.  Still attracted to me and I to him after 19 years.  Again my heart at peace is the best motivation for me>>>>>a new beginning to an already beautiful life.  

I am a grandma now of 4 grandsons, but I watch one 4 days a week and I want to be a role model and be able to run and jump and play with that handsome boy.  But things have changed he is not my reason to get healthy I am the reason!!! I am so worth it!!