This will be more for myself, than for anything else.
If someone happens upon this and it helps them, then that's awesome too.
Maybe I'll do one of these every day, or every week, or whenever I'm feeling particularly weak or proud.
Here goes nothing!
Hey, Im Britney. I'm 24 years old. I have a beautiful little girl, and an amazing husband. It feels like all my life I've struggled with weight issues. Cliche', right? I don't really know when it exactly started. But, other kids started calling me fat back in Second Grade. I'd continue to get picked on because of my weight up until college. Though, I'm sure it goes on still, but it's no longer done to my face. Unless it's my family... After giving birth to my daughter on February 11th 2014, I tipped the scale at 349.8lbs. My highest recorded weight. My pregnancy was filled with concerns; between my weight, and the health of my daughter. I ended up developing gestational diabetes, as well as pre-eclampsia; which ended up putting me in the hospital for 2 weeks on bed rest and delivering my daughter via cesarian at 37 weeks. Not only did I put myself in danger, but also my daughter. Once healed, and I had my daughter home with me after her being in the NICU for 11 days (VSD, and Apnic episodes), it became painfully obvious that my weight was a huge problem. Rocking my daughter, holding her in my arms, bathing her, ANYTHING was just so strainuous. Not to mention, I hated how much I looked that I don't have many pictures of myself with my daughter that were taken upexpectantly by anyone else. I ended up trying Isagenix since my cousin was on it. That worked, I got 20 pounds off doing that, but then money became an issue and so did my accountability. Then I started the Dukan Diet, since my brother did extremely well on it. Down another 15/20 more pounds. Birthday weekend happened and I never got back on track. I tried again to start the Dukan diet up again a few months later, but no success and extremely bad headaches caused me to stop that. Then I didn't try anything again until summer 2016. I joined a weight management class and I was doing well, I dropped 30 pounds. But, I induldged one weekend, and the weekened turned into a week, then that week turned into 2 months. I gained it all back. I just found out I gained it all back. Right when I took my pictures earlier to be submitted to this Diet Bet. Wow. Half of my progess. Whoosh, out the window. Is this how I'm going to live my life? Accomplishing, then slipping off, staying off, gain back, try again, repeat, reeat, repeat.
I need this. I need this, not only for myself, but for my husband and daughter. I don't want to leave them earlier than I have to becuse I made poor choices. Why is this so hard? This must be why they call it an addiction. You know it's wrong, you know you should do it, but you do. And you hate yourself the entire time. But, you still do it. It takes so much willpower.
Do I have that strength?
I know I have it. I'm determined, now more than ever. I remember how I felt everytime someone would say "You've lost weight, it looks great". I want that again. I want to be able to take these pictures, look back at them in a year, and not be able to recognise the woman in those pictures as myself. I want to be able to not be horrified that someone took my picture unexpectantly. I want to fully love myself again. I don't want to be judged by people based on how I look, or what I'm eating. I don't want to feel like this. I don't.....
My attitude change came yesterday. Yes, I knew I had to do something about this issue before yesterday, but it really hit home. My husband and I took our daughter to the auarium yesterday. It was so much fun! But, you know when you go to a big place like that, and they want to take your photograph before you enter so you feel compelled to buy it before you leave? Well, I always buy it. I think it's cute and a nice memory. I was in denial that I gained all my weight back. Talk about a slap in the face. I got the picture printed, and I looked at it. Really, really, really looked at it. I saw my double chin, I saw the bloated face, I saw the protruding stomach. I saw it all. And it hit me. I need to do something now. Not later, now. Not after this persons birthday, or that event, or that holiday, but NOW!
So, here I am. Britney Peltier. 24 years old. 318.6 pounds. On the journey to save her life.
My goal weight after all of this, is anywhere between 150-180 pounds. I don't want to be skinny mini, I like my curves. I just want to rein them in, and give a shape to my whole body instead of lumps of charcoal in a bag.
If anyone read this, thank you for listening to my inner ramblings. You too can achieve what you really want. Let's help each other! We got this! Let's make this a memory as what once was, so in a year we can see what is.
<3