Hey guys! 

I have no idea if anyone is going to read this or not but I suddenly felt the need to write a blog post today. Especially since it's one of those discouraging days where I'm a week from the official weigh in for the first round..and still 2.9lbs over. I've already lost 2 diebets before and I don't want this to be another failiure! 

To begin, I'm gonna give you an idea of where I'm at and what I'm fighting for. 

I currently weigh 193 @ 5'7 and I am 24 y/o. At the tail end of middle school I remember weighing in @ 145 then once i got to high school, I hit 180 and stayed in the 175-180 range for the remainder of high school although I never overate and was involved in marching band (don't hate, we exercised A LOT lol) 

So, I think it's safe to say that I'm meant to be a little on the thicker side. I've gotten labs done multiple times and my most recent one came back saying I am perfectly healthy. 

You'd think I'd be happy with that, right?

I wish!

There's one small problem. I want to join the navy. I've been wanting to join since around this time in 2015. That's 2 years! At the time, I only had to lose about 25lbs (I started out at 206) and I would have been ok. But stress happened and laziness hit me. Then I moved away for the summer and gained another whopping 20lbs. I was depressed. I'd never been that high in my life. I've been 206 before and managed to get down to 158 a few years ago...but 226?? I felt like i hit rock bottom. How the hell did it get to that point? 

Once I came back home, I dropped 10 lbs fairly quick...and then the other 25 came very slowly, putting me at the weight I'm at now. It's been a roller coaster ride. I'm tired of trying to lose weight. One of the reasons I'd like to join the military is because I'd be expected to be healthy and although it'll probably be a tough task, I want to be in shape for the rest of my life. I'd have that driving force and definitely an amazing support group.

My parents are overweight and I never want to get to the point where I can barely move at 60 years old. 

I really only need to lose 15 more lbs and then I'll feel confident enough to go to the recruiters' office again...but i can't help but to think about how long it took me to get to this point. My ASVAB score expires at some point in October and that's pretty much my deadline. But i'd like to kick ass and go before the beginning of April. 

Just gotta believe in myself and get this thing called life together *sigh* 

Btw in the picture I was 169lbs.