People don't get it.
That is the most generalized statement to sum up the people I surround myself with and the weightloss rollercoaster I ride. I either have those who sabotage, those who push too hard or those who mock because they think it's strange.
I get on kicks with my diet, as we all do. Start eating healthy, try a new diet fad. My boyfriend will ask me if I want pie the day after I have announced a new fitness venture. My coworkers will look at me mockingly and as "you are just gonna eat veggies and rice?" as if thats a BAD thing. And my sister in law will push and push as if she knows more, though we are both the same size in the same point of our weightloss journeys.
I try to tell myself that I am mentally strong enough to overcome the criticism and temptations I face every day. However, IF I was that mentally strong I probably wouldn't be writing this blog about needing support with my very first Dietbet.
If I am going to be completely honest. I have no willpower. Sugar is my drug.
So here I sit, just having done my first weigh-in, excitedly reading the comments of the 200+ people who have joined alongside me. Secretly thinking "I bet she has a lot of support at home", "She looks like she could work out every single day" etc, etc. Continuously shaming myself and comparing who I am to others who I only see through their profile picture and know nothing about.
I have never been one to reach out and make new friends. Which is probably why I stick with the same friends who make fun of my attempt to become a healthier version of myself, as if it's okay to be unsupportive. But maybe with time that could change. Maybe DietBet is exactly what I have been waiting for.
So here I sit, at my desk job typing this when I should probably be scanning or copying something. Asking for support on a pathetic journey to find likeminded individuals who I can relate to, talk to and who I can participate in cheering each other on.
Support seems so simple. But, in reality, is it too much to ask?