MAN. I've been humming along, feeling great, doing the work and last night, WHAM! Headache, backache and this DESPERATE need for chocolate! I laid on the bed and that's all I could think of! Usually I can quench that need with a handful of my special trail mix, but my body and/or brain was having none. of. it.
**TMI ALERT***
I have the Mirena IUD and so I don't have a "normal" period--I don't have one at all--it's wonderful. But I know my body still cycles and man, last night it hit me like a dump truck.
At first, I couldn't figure out what the deal was...I was cranky and irritable and tired and headachy and I just wanted to munch and I would've killed for chocolate. REAL chocolate, not protein shakes, not trail mix, but a giant, creamy, fat-and-sugar filled treat. Finally, while I was laying on the bed trying to will my headache away, a cramp hit my lower back and the light bulb came on above my head. Before I recommitted to healthy eating, it didn't matter when I cycled because I ate whatever I wanted anyway. Now, it's a bit more of a challenge to stay on course.
Solution?
A compromise! My husband, who is bucking for sainthood (seriously), was going to the grocery store to pick up one or two things and agreed to buy me some chocolate. NOW, here's where the compromise comes in: Before, I would have begged for 2 or 3 king-sized candy bars or an entire bag of mini candy bars that I could eat in one sitting---no lie. Last night, I told him to bring me a package of the mini candy bars. You know, the ones that are like 6 or 8 to a package? And he DID! I took one mini Milky Way (oh! the caramel! the creamy chocolate! heaven!) out of the package and promptly gave the package back to him. He has hidden the remainder of the package and the next time I have a "chocolate emergency" he will get me another, just one, but another. I ate my chocolate, kissed my sweet man and took some ibuprofen. And ya know? That mini Milky Way did just as good a job satisfying me (I know, wrong candy bar, but I digress) as a GIGANTIC Symphony bar or King-Sized Kit Kat would have and I didn't have that sick, sugar-overload feeling.
I'm starting to figure out that for whatever reason (I'm sure I know, but that's WAY too much pyscho-babble for a Wednesday) I have an innate fear of not having what I want to eat, when I want to eat it. I've always, always, always been an emotional eater and I know that about myself, but now I'm figuring out how to deal with it. Last night was a big confirmation that I'm learning how to handle things. Whenver I have tried "diets" or "fitness plans" in the past they've most always involved a giant list of "No-No's" and the minute I see that d*mn list I begin to crave every. last. one. I have this perverse nature that immediately wants to do the exact OPPOSITE of what I'm being told. But if I know that I can have a treat or a snack or SOMETHING I'm a lot calmer and a lot more likely to resist temptation. Moderation, I know but it's something I've had a very hard time mastering--I'm STILL trying to learn it and master it.
Right now, having a treat now and then and making myself accountable for it by tracking on MFP is what's working for me. I get a treat, I feel like I'm "putting one over" on--I have no idea who--but whoever the "they" are that tell you to give up sugar completely or not eat dairy or WHATEVER; I track it like a good girl and I WIN. So here's to more moderation and WINNING.
Wow, this post is longer than I intended, but it helps to process this into words and I hope it helps anyone reading this :) Lessons learned: Moderation, Accountability and KNOW YOURSELF.
*Loves!