Motivation. Where does it come from? Certainly not from the external influences that used to motivate me as a teenager. The past few years, I have struggled to find the perfect balance between that fired up feeling and that awful place of self-loathing that is oh so present in our lives these days. 

I spent 18 of my 25 years in front of the mirror training in one of the most daunting and body concious art forms on the face of the earth- Ballet. Perfection is what I strove for in everything from my body to my technique. I'm naturally slightly curvier than the average skinny minny that is widely accepted in the ballet world, thus the constant internal struggle. 

I've spent the last 5 years dancing for The Dance Collaborative, a dance company based in Idaho Falls. TDC is more of a contemporary company and although the contract mentioned maintaining a healthy body, I was never pressured by my directors to "lose a few" as I had been in my teen years. However, old habits die hard and I felt the pressure none-the-less to always be thinner, always be better.

At the end of my 5th season with the company, I decided it was time to get away from the dreaded mirror and just focus on bettering my health. That was in's now December. It's not that I haven't done anything since April to improve my health, but I certainly haven't made it a habit. I'll get real fired up, start a program, almost finish a program and then life hits and I quit. My goal is to get in shape and get back into the dance studio at least for regular classes, if not professionally.

I've been searching for the magical cure for my lack of motivation for the past several months. Aside from wanting to improve my own health, I have some family that could stand to do the same and I thought why not put a wager on it? I love winning money and definitely do not like losing money, so that's motivational in and of itself. I stumbled across Diet Bet and decided I had better give this a shot so that I can actually endorse it if and when I am successful. I will be submitting my weigh in tomorrow morning and will start the game on Monday.

My plan is to do a T25 and Piyo hybrid workout (both Beach Body programs) along with clean (or at least cleaner) eating.

Here goes nothing!