This holiday season is just a whirlwind with traveling, constant change of plans, and the death of my grandfather. I have felt very numb and annoyed through much of it and it is far from over.
Is it wrong that I feel slighted of my holiday? I continously get told to just deal with it while being left out of things or made to change plans.
Being the only one from my family(sibling and parents) that seem to be going while others are sitting and should be helping.
How are you going to tell your grandma that you want to make Christmas cookies and then don't help make any of them? My gram and I made 6 different batches of cookies. There were a couple hundred when we were done.
Christmas didn't seem like Christmas. My dad wasn't here, we didn't read the Christmas story, and we didn't do family presents. The presents aren't that big of a deal but after paying almost 2000 to fly home, bought thoughtful gifts, and everything sort of thought there would be at least something more than just loads of presents for the baby that isn't even one.
Starting to plan my single lady Christmas for next year and I am going to get what I want and go some place I really want.
My pop's funeral is tomorrow. Tonight was his viewing and I can't believe how alone you can feel in a room full of family. To feel sad for a lost life but not having your own family (sibling and mother) to be there next to you while you see your grandfather for the last time. So disappointed and sad that I am not sure what to do with myself. I would go walk but we are in the middle of nowhere in PA and it's late at night.
Oh and the fun part my nephew is sick, being annoying, and I still haven't gotten a full day without him being around. Love my family but really understand why I moved to a state in the middle of the country and created my own life. Definitely thinking I need to move back to Iowa.
So I am here not moving because I just can't right now.