7 days until weigh in...

Posted on December 28, 2014

So.. I don't even know how I ended up getting here. The profiles asked for my goal weight and I looked up the normal for my height and build... 150lbs. I haven't weighed that since my junior year in high school and back then you couldn't get me off the tennis courts. So I put down 150 lbs for my goal weight and I just automatically get disappointed... it seems like such a huge amount to lose. I think that is why I need a place like Diet Bet. I need to concentrate on small goals over the long term big goals because they are definitely scary. I am currently around 300 lbs and can't believe I actually have half of my body weight to lose.

I am here for many reasons... but really I want to show myself I am strong enough to do this. I was injured playing tennis my senior year of high school. I blew out my knee I became sedentary instead of getting back out there. I have just been putting on pound after pound since then. After high school I worked in call centers or worked from home sitting at a desk all day unable to move around. This past fall I actually quit my job to go to school full time to get out of a job that will have me sitting on my ass all day and I will actually get up and get moving all day at work! So I am currently in 8 classes a semester getting my Medical Assistant and then going into the Nursing program. Now it is time to seriously change my eating habits. I eat too much. It is really that simple. I eat way too much of really bad food.

So here is my goal. No processed foods. I am going to try my little heart out to prepare all my meals at home. Real food. Not sugary, carb filled(bad-carbs that is), salted up foods rich in all things bad.

My family has a huge history of heart disease and diabetes. I am scared at this point that I am going to die before I have had a chance to live. Because at 28 years old... I do not feel I have lived yet.

My boyfriend and I have started talking about settling down. getting married. having children. I love him to pieces because he loves me for who I am, unconditionally. But, I can't be bringing a child into this world that I won't be around to care for. Hell, at this rate I would be a high risk pregnancy and my body would probably reject it. And on top of it.... I want to be in the medical field. How can I tell someone they need to take care of themself... when I don't take care of me??

This is my time. I am really ready to be done with this. Focus on small goals. Celebrate the hell out of the small wins.

Last note, If you are reading this... Feel like you are in the same boat.... Please lets be friends. I would love some friends to talk to about this. I don't have the greatest support system. I could really use it and I know theres others that can use my support. We don't have to do this alone.

Mary

Comment Now!

Tinkntx

01/09/2015 11:48AM

Hi Mary, I have a bad knee, too, and I started using walking poles called Exerstrider that have really helped me a lot. I have over 100 pounds to lose and with the poles have already lost 10 pounds. Some people think it looks silly, like skiing without the snow, but it also helps with posture and works the upper body muscles. It also makes walking a lot easier. This might now work for everyone, but it's helped me a lot.

Mary S.

12/29/2014 8:06AM

I just made a list of small monthly goals for the next 6 months to keep on my phone. took the high end and low end and averaged them for my goal.... but also kept my high and low goals to make sure i know to be somewhere in there is progress! that is what I am really looking to focus on. hopefully it will work as intended :)thank you for all the kind words!!

Lucy

12/28/2014 10:56PM

Wow Mary. We have a lot in commom. I had a partial knee replacement due to sports in High school. We have a lot of the same goals as well. We def should connect.. great luck on your journey-Lucy

Mary S. likes this comment.

Marsha B.

12/28/2014 9:16PM

Mary I loved your post. I have felt like you for many years. I have gotten to my highest weight ever at over 300lbs, and I too need to lose over 150lbs. 157.4 to be exact. It is scary to think of the large number and I am only taking one month at a time for goal setting. I get overwhelmed by the number of pounds to lose and then just give up. I don't want to give up this time. If you want to add me as friend go for it.

Mary S. likes this comment.